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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

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CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot аss kicking in real-time.

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A blonde complains to a brunette friend that her Internet is down.
The brunette friend offers to let the blonde check her e-mail at her house.
"That's OK," says the blonde. "Why don't you check it and forward me what I got?"

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Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch!

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It was Valentine's day and Jim and Danielle's first date.
They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start.
The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema's concession stand.
Jim and Danielle realised that there was no sound.
The film began but the silence continued.
Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd loudly shouted, "Okay, who's got the remote control?"

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Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.

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That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.

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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.
When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.

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Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!

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According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.

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Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East?
A: A Selfie!

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My dad discovered the Internet. Uh, just because someone raised you, does not mean that you have to add them on Facebook.

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I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vаginа.
So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.

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A mother goes to the market and leaves her lilttle boy in the house.
Meanwhile, she leaves her phone charging on the floor in the house.
Unfortunately, power goes off and there is a message that comes with a sound on the phone.
The message reads, ' battery low'.
Concerned, the little boy picks the phone and puts it on the table and wait for some time waiting to see another message on the phone that should read, 'battery high'.
He was disappointed.

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What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.

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My New Years resolution is 1080p.

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What do you call a веnт iPhone 6 plus?
A dead wringer.

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