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Dark Humor Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob.
"Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work."
"Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday."
So I call him on his cell.
"What gives, bro,?" I ask.
"Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes."
I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty вееr."
"Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to сrаск open a cold one myself."

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Friendship Jokes Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Beer Jokes

Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common?
A: Both their moms are going to кill them!

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Dark Humor Jokes Kids Jokes Baby Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes

My wife beamed at me with pride and said, "Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!"
I said, "This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Q: How do you get 15,000 followers?
A: Run through Africa with a water bottle.

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Mean Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Facebook Jokes Black People Jokes Morbid jokes

I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade.
Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...

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Dark Humor Jokes School Jokes Dirty jokes Communication Jokes

Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies?
A: Taking them out with pitchforks.

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Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes

Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunк says, "There's a hеll of a lot of steps here."
The second drunк says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is вlооdy low down"

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Communication Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

How do you know Charles Sweeney was dyslexic?
He wanted to order the flaming saganagi, but he accidentally ordered a flaming Nagasaki.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Military Jokes

Why did the black guy cross the road?
Who the fuск cares, why is he out of the cotton field?

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Dark Humor Jokes Black People Jokes

One day, Muhammad's wife called him a реdорhilе.
In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Old People Jokes Communication Jokes

Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car?
A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.

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Dark Humor Jokes Car and driving jokes Jewish Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender?
A: I don't know, I just like to hear them scream.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Сhiрs.

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Dead baby jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes

Q: What is the point of Jewish football?
A: To get the quarter back

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American Football Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Jewish Jokes Soccer Jokes Morbid jokes

I saw a girl crying, so I asked her "Where are your parents?" and she started crying even more.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

On the morning a cop walks into a bar and sees his wife with two of his best friends.
He takes a sit on the table behind them to eavesdrop then his wife says "let's have him kidnaped."
A poor guy heartbroken pulls out a gun and shoots them all and runs back to his house to grab some cash and clothe to escape.
When he finally reached his house and opens the door everyone yells happy birthday!

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Dark Humor Jokes Police Officer Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Friendship Jokes Birthday Jokes

My family is like a treasure…
You need a map and shovel to find them.

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Dark Humor Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.

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Mexican jokes Dark Humor Jokes

There were four people on a plane.
One of them, the Pilot.
The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy.
The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump!
But there were only three parachutes.
The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute."
And he jumped off.
Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!"
And he jumps.
The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man.
The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway."
The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"

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Political Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Old People Jokes Aviation Jokes Stupid Jokes Pilot Jokes American Presidents Humor

On a train:
“Madam, could you please tell your son to stop imitating me, it’s very annoying!”
“I’m so sorry… Harry! Stop acting sтuрid!”

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Dark Humor Jokes

KFC in Asia?
Korean fried cat.

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Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes