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Food Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Me driving by a Taco Веll.
Sign: Now Hiring Managers.
Two weeks later:
Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Background Checks Required.
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Management Jokes Food Jokes Boss Jokes
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
A: The black ones steal your watch.
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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Food Jokes Black People Jokes
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
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Dirty jokes Pick-Up Lines Jokes Food Jokes Sex Jokes Flirt jokes
A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries.
After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here."
"At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."
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A horse walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says "Give me a beer." Ein Pferd kommt in den Saloon und bestellt einen Whiskey. ,"Was bin ich schuldig?",- "Sechs Dollar," sagt der Keeper und schluckt, "Also, ein Pferd habe ich noch nie bedient." ,Da meint der Gaul nur:,"Bei den Preisen wird es auch das letzte Mal gewesen sein!" Gorilin biri bara girmiş.Barmenden bir içki istemiş.Barmen çok şaşırmış tabii,ama belli etmeden gorilin içkisini vermiş..Hesap ödeme zamanı gelince de üç misli fazla söylemiş.Goril ses çıkarmadan... Estaba un cantinero esperando al primer cliente, cuando al cabo de varias horas, entra un caballo, se sienta y pide un trago. El caballo se toma el trago y le pregunta cuánto le debe. El cantinero... En apekatt kommer inn på en bar, legger en 200-lapp på baren og ber om én øl. “Jøss, en snakkende apekatt...”, tenker bartenderen. “Selv om han kan snakke, så er han sikkert ikke så flink til å...
Money jokes Food Jokes Hunting Jokes Communication Jokes Restaurant Jokes
The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water.
I decided to tell the waitress.
"This soup is awful," I said.
"I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."
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Waiter Jokes Food Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast."
The doctor replies, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your вuтт."
Two months later, she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was."
But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down. He asks, "Where did you get this twitch?"
The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch; I'm chewing bubble gum."
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Office and Work Jokes Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
Yo momma so sтuрid she thought that doctor pepper could heal her.
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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Stupid Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde snort Sweet'N Low?
A: She thought it was Diet Coke.
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Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes
Yo mama is so sтuрid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.
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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job?
A: He was caught beating his meat.
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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes
Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.
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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Customer service jokes Light bulb jokes
A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese.
The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples.
As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats.
She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?"
An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."
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Food Jokes Old People Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes American Jokes
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths.
"I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Math Jokes Customer service jokes Stupid Jokes Restaurant Jokes
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store.
"Give me a couple of steaks," he says.
"We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher.
"Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
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Hunting Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Communication Jokes Dog jokes
Q: What's long and hard and has сuм in it?
A: Cucumber, dirтy people.
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Dirty jokes Food Jokes Funny Riddles
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
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Halloween Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Ugly Jokes
A blonde enters a library.
She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."
The librarian says "Ma'am this is library."
So the blonde leans in and whispers "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."
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Блондинка влиза в библиотека, крещейки: Blonde in a Library библиотека им. ленина. в читальном зале сидят доктора наук,... A blonde went in the library and walked up to the librarian behind the desk and said, "I would like a cheeseburger." The librarian replied,"Shh! This is a library!" The blonde blushed."oh, sorry.." then she whispered, "I would like a cheeseburger." Μπαίνει μια ξανθιά στη βιβλιοθήκη και αρχίζει να φωνάζει: - "Μια πίτα γύρο από όλα χωρίς μουστάρδα." Ο βιβλιοθηκάριος της λέει διακριτικά: - "Συγνώμη κυρία μου, αλλά εδώ είναι βιβλιοθήκη." Και η ξανθιά απαντάει χαμηλόφωνα: - "Α! με συγχωρείτε. Μια πίτα γύρο από όλα χωρίς μουστάρδα." Une blonde rentre dans une blibliothéque et elle dit : - "un coca , une frite et un bigmac" le dirigent dit : - "madame vous êtes dans une blibliothéque" - "Ah !d'accord ! " en chuchotant elle dit : "un coca , une frite et un bigmac"... Sarışının biri kütüphaneye gitmiş ve direk bankoya yönelerek görevliden bir hamburger, bir kola ve bir de patates kızartması istemiş. Görevlinin saf saf yüzüne baktığını gören sarışın bu sefer daha... En blondin gick till ett bibliotek och sa - Hej, kan jag få en Big Mac & company? - Eh, det här är ett bibliotek! - Oj förlåt, En Big Mac & company (viskandes) Un fou entre dans une bibliothèque : "-Bonjour, je voudrais un burger s'il vous plaît ! - Mais monsieur, nous sommes dans une librairie ! - Ah pardon ! [Chuchote] Bonjour, je voudrais un burger... En blondin klev in i ett bibliotek och gick fram till bibliotikarien och sa: - En hamburgare med pommes tack! - Men lilla vännen, det här är ett bibliotek! Blondinen ursäktade sig och viskade:... Geht eine Blondine in die Bibliothek und fragt: "Kann ich ein Döner haben?" Sagt der Bibliothekar: "Das hier ist eine Bibliothek." Flüstert die Blondine "Kann ich einen Döner haben." Een dom blondje komt de bibliotheek binnen en roept: “Een zak friet en een frikandel!” Sssssst u bent hier in een bibliotheek, sust de dame achter de balie. Oké zegt het domme blondje zachtjes... Une blonde entre dans une bibliothèque, se dirige vers le comptoir et dit : - Bonjour, un coca, une frite et un bigmac s'il vous plait. - Madame vous êtes dans une bibliothèque, réplique la... C’est une blonde qui rentre dans une bibliothèque et qui demande à l’accueil : - Bonjour, je voudrais un hamburger ? un grand coca et une grande frite ! Le bibliothécaire : - Madame, vous êtes dans...
Blonde Jokes Food Jokes Business jokes Stupid Jokes
Q: What does a gаy order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi.
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Asian jokes Food Jokes Sex Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Restaurant Jokes
Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
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Dark Humor Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Cannibal Jokes
Dad: Why ya' crying?
Girl: My boyfriend dumped me!
Dad (Grabs shotgun): I'll be back...
*A while later, dad comes back*
Girl: What the hеll! Why did you кill him!
Dad: I didn't!
Girl: Where did you go, then?
Dad: To get you ice cream of course.
Girl: Why the hеll did you bring the shot gun!?
Dad: So I could get it for free!
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Jokes about Women Food Jokes Redneck jokes Dad Jokes
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