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Food Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
A: The black ones steal your watch.

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Food Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes

Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes Food Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Flirt jokes

A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast."
The doctor replies, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your вuтт."
Two months later, she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was."
But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down. He asks, "Where did you get this twitch?"
The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch; I'm chewing bubble gum."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Gross Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries.
After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here."
"At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."

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Money jokes Food Jokes Hunting Jokes Communication Jokes Restaurant Jokes

The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water.
I decided to tell the waitress.
"This soup is awful," I said.
"I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."

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Food Jokes Waiter Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde snort Sweet'N Low?
A: She thought it was Diet Coke.

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Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

Yo momma so sтuрid she thought that doctor pepper could heal her.

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Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes

Yo mama is so sтuрid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.

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Food Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job?
A: He was caught beating his meat.

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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes

Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.

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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Customer service jokes Light bulb jokes

A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese.
The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples.
As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats.
She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?"
An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."

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Food Jokes Old People Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes American Jokes

I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths.
"I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."

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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Math Jokes Customer service jokes Stupid Jokes Restaurant Jokes

On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store.
"Give me a couple of steaks," he says.
"We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher.
"Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Hunting Jokes Communication Jokes Dog jokes

Q: What's long and hard and has сuм in it?
A: Cucumber, dirтy people.

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Food Jokes Dirty jokes Funny Riddles

I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Halloween Jokes Ugly Jokes

A blonde enters a library.
She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."
The librarian says "Ma'am this is library."
So the blonde leans in and whispers "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."

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Food Jokes Blonde Jokes Business jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: What does a gаy order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi.

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Food Jokes Sex Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Asian jokes Restaurant Jokes

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.

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Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Cannibal Jokes

Dad: Why ya' crying?
Girl: My boyfriend dumped me!
Dad (Grabs shotgun): I'll be back...
*A while later, dad comes back*
Girl: What the hеll! Why did you кill him!
Dad: I didn't!
Girl: Where did you go, then?
Dad: To get you ice cream of course.
Girl: Why the hеll did you bring the shot gun!?
Dad: So I could get it for free!

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Jokes about Women Food Jokes Redneck jokes Dad Jokes

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fат соw give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Student jokes Fat Jokes