Geek jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared.
And that's the story.

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Why use Linux:
No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.

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Warning!
User Error.
Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.

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A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

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Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
A: Classical conditioning.

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If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better"
Does that mean it'll run on Linux?

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A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid."
"Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist.
The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."

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Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women?
A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.

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On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.

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Three statisticians are out hunting.
Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left.
The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right.
The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"

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The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!

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Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

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Have you heard about the Viаgrа computer virus?
It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.

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Black holes are where God divided by zero.

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A man walks into a sреrм Bank.
He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle.
He decides to start a conversation with him.
He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?"
The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.

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Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.

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Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958

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When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."

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E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.

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If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!

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