Blonde Jokes

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What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

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There's 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde.
Their all at the NASA space center.
The redhead says to the flight technician, "I want to go to the moon".
The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says,
"I want to go to Mars".
He says she can go next week. The blonde says,
"I want to go to the sun".
The flight technician says,
"Don't you know you'll burn up?" The blonde says,
"Well then I'll go at night."

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A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.
She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
The pig says,
"I won her in a raffle!"

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Why don't blondes like to breastfeed their babies?
It hurts to boil their niррlеs!

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How did the blonde die at the baseball game?
She drowned during the wave.

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How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
Ho, Но, Но, and to all a good night.

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What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?
An IN-body experience!

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What do you call a blonde at a golf course?
The 19th hole.

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A blonde woman decides to join the navy. She does okay in most of the training. (With the help of everybody else there), but then the big day comes. Time for the live fire course.
The first part they will have to be crawling on the ground to avoid bullets. "NOW! yelles the general. Everybody get to the ground. Everybody including the blonde obays. We will start the Fire in 3... 2... 1..." The blonde stands up and says "pardon?"

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A group of working men and women were enjoying happy hour ata local bar. One of them asked what time others went to bedon work nights. A blonde piped up from the end of the bar and said "Well, ifI'm not in bed by ten o'clock, I just go home."

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Why did the blonde freeze to death at the drive-in?
She went to see "Closed for the season."

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Mary and Liz (a blonde) were talkin in the office one day. Mary:
"Wow, that is some cold you have Liz."
Liz:
"Tell me about it. I just cannot get rid of it."
Mary:
"Try some Cold-Doc 3. I have a bottle in my desk. Just take 3 tablespoons before you go to bed and you'll be fine. Here ya go."
Liz:
"Thanks, I'll give it a try."
Next Day Liz was standing by her desk jumping up and down, waving her arms in the air and kicking her legs out. Mary:
"Liz, It is nice to see you are feeling better. Is that a new dance?"
Liz:
"Oh No. I still don't feel that great. I took the medicine you gave me and just realized it said to shake well before using."

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Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar. Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earing's?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.

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A very well-built young blonde lady was lying on her psychiatrist's couch, telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an actress and failed," she complained. "I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that, too." The shrink thought for a moment and said... "Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?" The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful вrеаsтs, points it at the shrink, and says... "Well go ahead, I'll give it a try!"

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How can you tell when a blonde been by your computer? A: There is cheese by the mouse.

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While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not.
I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud, "I wonder why?"
The blonde replied, "Must be because the oil would suffocate them."

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The farmer was amazed - she was right!
So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

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Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake?
A: "Must be an earthquake."

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