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Blonde Jokes

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There are three blondes on an island. A genie says they can only have one wish t get themselfs off. The first says" I wish I was smart" so she turns into a red head and swims off the island. The second says " I wish I was smarter than her" so she turns into a brunette and swims away. The third one says " I wish I was smarter than both of them" so she turns into a man and walks on the bridge.
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Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts? A: Тiтs go in front. Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? A:
"Have another вееr." Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning ? A: Pack their lunch and send them to work. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A1: Introduces themself. A2: Walks home. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning? A: Fertilised. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs? A: Unfertilised. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sеx? A: Opens the car door. Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sеx ? A: Kick open the car door. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering? A: More head room. Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs? A: More leg room.
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Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a policehorse?
So she won't shiт on the street during a parade.
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A redhead walks into a salon and the hair stylist says your hair is gorgeous and the redhead runs her hand through her hair and says It's natural.
Then a brunette walks in and the stylist says I love you hair and the brunette runs her hand through her hair and says it's natural.
Then a blonde with green streaks walks in and the stylist says "That's different..."
The blonde sneezes, wipes it on her hand and runs her hand through her hair and says,
"It's natural!"
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A blonde goes horseback riding for the first time in her life, she's never had any prior lessons or training.
As soon as her bottom hits the saddle, the horse gallops away.
Immediately the girl realizes she's not in the saddle correctly and she does everything she can to stay on the horse, she pulls on the horse's mane, she grabs the saddle ... but she realizes it's no use.
Finally she decides the best thing to do is to jump clear of the horse but as she does this, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is dragged by the horse.
Her head is hitting the ground ... thump ... thump ... thump ... over and over again.
Just as she is about to lose consciousness ..... the store manager runs out and unplugs the horse!
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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead wake up on an island with a gun.
Only three bullets were in the barrel.
"I'm going hunting," said the redhead, and she ran into the vegetation.
She came back with a rabbit.
"How did you get that?" the other two asked.
"I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back.
The brunette, thinking that she could do better, went out and came back with a deer.
"How did you get that?" the other two asked.
"I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back.
"I could do better than either of you" said the blonde and ran into the forest and came back with bruises and scrapes.
"What happened?" they asked.
"I followed the tracks and got hit by a train."
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Stift geworfen Blondinen und Handgranaten Η χειροβομβίδα Какво да правиш Que faire quand une blonde vous lance une grenade ? Was muss mab tun wenn eine Blondine eine Handgranate auf dich wirft? Den Ring ziehen und zurück werfen. - Vad gör du om en blondin kastar en granat mot dig? - Drar ur säkringen och kastar tillbaka den. — Що робити якщо блондинка кинула в тебе гранату? — Висмикнути чеку і кинути її назад Wat moet je doen als een Belg een handgranaat naar je toe gooit? De pin eruit halen en de handgranaat snel terug gooien. Mitä teet jos blondi naissotilas heittää käsigranaatin? - Ota sokka pois ja heitä takaisin Karadenizlilerle ruslar soğuk savaştalar. Lazlar el bombalarını ruslara fırlatıyorlarmış Co zrobić O que você deve fazer quando uma laira jogar uma granada em você? Tirar o pino e jogar de volta.
Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
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Q: What's the difference between a rooster and a blonde?
A: A rooster says, "Соск-a-doodle-doo," and a blonde says, "Any c**k'll do."
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Smile If You're Blonde Los gallegos y los relámpagos Warum mögen Blondinen Gewitter Ξανθιές Φωτογραφία. Защо блондинките се усмихват като има буря? Въпрос: Was macht eine Blondine wenn es blitzt? Sie steigt auf’s Dach und macht Posen weil sie denkt Perché durante i temporali i carabinieri sorridono? Warum gehen Burgenländer auf das Dach wenn es blitzt? Damit sie auch aufs Photo kommen! Pourquoi les blondes sourient toujours lors d'un orage électrique? Elles pensent que quelqu'un les prend en photo. Idą dwie blondynki przez burzę. Pierwsza pyta się drugiej: - Co robisz? - Uśmiecham się. - A po co? - By dobrze wypaść na zdjęciu. Vet ni varför norrmän tittar upp i himlen när det åskar? - För att de tror att de blir fotograferade. Pourquoi les blondes se mettent tout le temps devant la fenêtre lors d'un orage ? Parce qu'elles veulent être sur la photo. ¿Por qué las rubias sonrien cuando cae un rayo? Porque se creen que les están sacando una fotografía. - Vet du hvorfor svenskene ser opp på himmelen og smiler når det lyner? - Nei. - De tror de blir fotograferte. Hvorfor tager århusianerne deres pæne tøj på i tordenvejr? – De tror de skal have taget billeder - Hvorfor tager århusianerne pænt tøj på Immer wenn es blitzt und donnert stehen die Ostfriesen auf ihrem Balkon und schauen freundlich in den Himmel. Warum? Weil sie meinen der Liebe Gott fotografiere sie. Hvorfor smiler blondinene når det lyner og tordner? - De tror det blir tatt bilder av dem.. Why did the blonde keep stopping then smile during a lightning storm? A: She thought she was getting her picture taken. Vraag: Waarom gaat een belg voor het raam staan als het onweert ? Antwoord: Hij denkt dat er een foto wordt gemaakt ! Varför gillar blondiner blixtoväder? Dom tror någon försöker ta kort på dom Dlaczego blondynka uśmiecha się Kodėl blondinė stovi prie lango kai žaibuoja? - Todėl Zinot del ko blondines sipsosi ir stovi prie lango kaip zaibuoja? Jos galvoja kad jas fotografuoja
Q: Why do blondes smile when there's lightning?
A: They think they're getting their picture taken.
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Der Freund zur Blondine: "Schatz - Hur vet man om en blondin har använt din dator? - Din joystick är blöt... Dupa ce se cunoaste ca o blonda a folosit un computer? E Joystick-ul umed...
How do you know if a blonde has been playing with your Xbox 360?
The joystick is wet.
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How do you drown a blond?
Don't tell her to swallow.
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Did you hear about the blonde that got excited? She finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, when the box said,
"Two to four years."
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One blonde was on one side of the river and there was another blonde on the other side of the river. One blonde yells to the other blonde, "How do you get to the other side?" and the other blonde yells back, "You are on the other side!"
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One day a Blonde went the doctor with a burn on her stomach.
The doctor gasped and asked what happened. the Blonde told the doctor she put a lighter against her stomach.
The doctor asked her why in the world she would do that. the blond said "I was trying to burn calories."
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A brunette, a red-haired and a blonde comes to an edge of a hill. The rule is: if you lie, you fall off the hill.
A brunette says:
- I think I'm the most beautiful... And she falls off the hill.
A red-haired says:
- I think I'm the most clever... And she falls off the hill.
A blonde says: I think... And she falls off the hill.
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A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar.
The barman said,
"Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
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A blonde was on her way to Disneyland, but she went home when she saw a sign saying ‘Disneyland Left’.
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What is the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde?
"There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot."
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