Blonde Jokes

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Dear Pun Gents, we are a group of four people climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro in two weeks. Can you come up with a clever name for our team? Extra credit: After we climb the mountain we are doing a four-day safari. Not sure if you can combine the two parts of the trip into a clever pun/team name. PS we are four blondes: Three boys and a girl. A Brit, a wanna-be Brit, and two all-American boys. Thanks! ~Dave, Laguna Beach, CA

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The stunning blonde had gone to her student advisor for some course problems, but seemed to be paying only half attention to his replies.
"Are you feeling OK?" he asked.
"Well, to be honest, I have this compulsion to have sеx with every man I meet," she admitted. "Is there a name for my condition?"
"Why yes, there is," he said, as he picked her up and began carrying her to the couch. "It's called 'Good News'."

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What did the blonde say when she saw a herd of elephants with sunglasses on?
Nothing, she didn't recognize them.

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How come you don’t find sтuрid brunettes anywhere?
Because they all painted themselves blond.

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Two bums are sitting talking.
The first one starts bragging, "Today was the best day ever!
This morning I found a brand new pack of smokes just sitting on the ground.
So you know what I did? I sat and smoked every fuскing one of them... had the best day ever."
The second вuм just laughs,
"That's nothing, today I was walking along the rail road tracks and I found this girl laying on the tracks.
You know what I did?
I fuскеd her all day long."
The other вuм interrupts, "Bull!
You didn't do it all day long did you?", the other continues, "Well, no but it was for at least a few good hours, best day of my life."
The first bums asks, "So did she give you a good вlоwjов?"
The other replies no.
"How could you possibly be getting busy with this girl for hours, and she doesn't even give you a вlоw job?"
To which the other replies,
"How could she? She didn't have a head!"

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Did you hear about the blonde who sold her car to get some money for petrol?

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Q. Why did the dum blond keep failing her driver's test?
A. Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

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What does a blonde in a supermarket bending over?
Looking for low prices!

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A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit.
She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?"
A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?"
The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"

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Q: Why are blonde jokes one-liners?
A: So brunettes can understand them.

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One day a blonde woman entered an autobody shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car.
The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents.
He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out.
The woman went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway.
She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when another blonde woman walked by and asked what she was doing.
After hearing the whole story the second blonde pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down. Your personal check for the full $30,000.”

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A blond whines at her mother:
Mother, I’m impregnate!
What?
Where the hеll was you’re head?
What do you mean by that, on the pillow off course!

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A blonde walked into her final exam very nervous. But when she received the test, she was relieved to find out that it was a True or False exam. Immediately, she reached into her purse and pulled out a coin. Each time she flipped the coin she would write down an answer. "What are you doing?" the professor asked her.
"I'm figuring out the answers," the blonde replied.
To this, the professor just rolled his eyes and looked away. When she was done, the professor announced that there were five minutes left to go. "Oh my god!" she said in an excited voice, and started to flip the coin as fast as possible.

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Q: Why do some blondes only think about sеx?
A: They're dirтy blondes.

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Boy1: A blonde and brunette are on the top of a building. Who falls off first?
Boy2: The blonde?
Boy1: No, she has to ask for directions on how.

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Three blondes enter a bar.
They are happy, dancing and singing.
The barman asks them:
What are you girls celebrating?
We just finished a puzzle that took us tree months to finish.
So? The barman asks.
On the box wrought 2-4 years!

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Q. Why do blondes have legs?
A1. So they don't get stuck to the ground.
A2. To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3. So they don't leave trails, like little snails.

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Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

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