Blonde Jokes

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Blonde Jokes!
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New Blonde Jokes

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How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
Just put her in front of a mirror and have her play "Rock, paper, scissors."

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What does a fox do when he steps into a trap?
He bites off one leg and is free.
What does a blonde fox do when he steps into a trap?
He bites off 3 legs and is still trapped.

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One blonde asks another:
“How come the meteorites always manage to land in craters?”

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Ear doctor to a blonde:
"Could you please put a hand over your other ear? The sun is quite blinding."

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One blonde to the other:
"Shall I tell my parents that I am adopted?"

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“My mother told me I’ll be safe in the car during a lightning storm. Yeah, thanks mom, now I'm pregnant.”
Cindy (20), a blonde

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A blonde girl says to her friend, "I think Bill is cheating on me. I'm no longer even sure the kids are mine."

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Why was the blonde running in circles around her bed?
She was trying to catch up on her sleep.

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A blonde girl comes to the emergency room with burns on both ears and says, “Doctor, I was totally lost in thoughts and my phone rang and I picked up a hot iron instead.”
The doctor wonders, “And what happened to the other ear?”
The blonde girl replies, “Well I had to call my boyfriend to take me to the hospital!”

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A guy is telling a brunette some blonde jokes. Finally she interrupts him and says, “It’s really funny and everything, but I’m actually a blonde, I’ve been dyeing my hair for years.”
“Oh”, hesitates the man, “um, should I start over and talk very, very slowly?”

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One shark says to the other:
“I ate a diver last week. I’m still sick from all the plastic.”
The other shark waves a fin:
“That’s nothing. I ate a blonde last week. She was such an airhead I still can't dive.”

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Why do women have blue spots around their navels sometimes?
Because there are also blonde men.

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Two blondes are talking, “Did you know that Christmas will be on Friday this year?”
“Oh hеll, not Friday the 13th I hope!”

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What is the leading cause of death in blonde brain cells? - Loneliness.

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Why did the blonde only have 3 kids?
Because she read that every 4th child born is Chinese.

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My boyfriend always clears the browser history so we’d have more saving space on our computer. He’s really very thoughtful.
Cindy, 23, blonde.

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Husband says to his blonde wife, “I thought we were going to have rice with the meat?”
Blonde wife replies, “That’s right, but the cooking instructions for the rice said I needed 8 cups of water and there are only 6 cups in the cupboard.”

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