Chuck Norris

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Weeping Willows are a result of Chuck Norris yelling at trees for not being tough enough.

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Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table

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Chuck Norris and Нiтlеr were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.

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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.

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Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.

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Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.

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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a веаvеr.

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Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.

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When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.

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Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games.

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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.

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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.

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Microsoft Office doesn't correct Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris correct Microsoft Office.

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Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

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Chuck Norris's urinе was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids.
Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.

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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuск out of my chair".

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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.

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