Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.

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Chuck Norris Avenged the Avengers.

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PlayStation network was never hacked.
Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.

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Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris.
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

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Chuck Norris doesent need a postage stamp...
He just tells the letter where to go and it gets there.

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Chuck Norris can вlоw smoke rings, but also smoke squares.
Actually he can also вlоw your face.

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Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...

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Chuck Norris has the right to keep and arm bears.

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Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.

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Two halves make a whole.
Two wholes make Chuck Norris.

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When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating.
He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.

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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.

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In the game "Clue", the мurdеr is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.

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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.

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When President Roosevelt dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, he did so only because it was more human then sending Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".

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Chuck Norris can unlock a hairpin with a door.

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