Chuck Norris

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When Light wrote Chuck Norris' name in the Death Note, the book died.

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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his реnis.

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Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.

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They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D. There where no survivors.

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It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

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When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever

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According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

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Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.

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Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.

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Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter.

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If Chuck Norris met Dora the Explorer, he'd introduce her to his Boots.

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The Моnа Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.

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Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

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Allstate gets insurance from Chuck Norris, because even Allstate needs to be in good hands.

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Chuck Norris once entered a black hole just to see what was in it. Dissapointed, he then walked out.

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Davie Jones is afraid of Chuck Norris' Locker.

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Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil. It couldn't keep up.

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Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.

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