Chuck Norris

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In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal.
He answered:
"Where?"
The country went bankrupt.

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Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.

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When you open a can of whoop-аss, Chuck Norris jumps out.

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Chuck Norris froze hеll.

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Before sliced bread, people used to say "That's the greatest thing since Chuck Norris".

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Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.

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Chuck Norris once went logging and took down a forest.
Then he came back for his axe.

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Guns can кill, Chuck Norris does!

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Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting рissеd off.
It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

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Chuck Norris can drink soup with a fork faster than you can beg for mercy.

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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

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Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower.

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Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!

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It is better to give than to receive.
This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

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What's the easiest way to a persons heart?
Chuck Norris' fist

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Chuck Norris abducts aliens.

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Chuck Norris is the reason why Mickey mouse talks like that.

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Chuck Norris runs until the treadmill gets tired.

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