Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Ваng.

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The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.

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Do you know why the Earth's spinning ?
Because Chuck Norris is running on it.

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Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.

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Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.

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Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.

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Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.

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Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris: The Game starts directly with the ending video.

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Shhhhh...
Did you hear that?
Chuck did.

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Chuck norris made medusa turn into stone.

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What do you spell if you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris's name.
Nothing, because you can't mess with Chuck Norris.

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When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.

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Chuck Norris does not open doors.
The doors have the common courtesy to open for him

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The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris is not impressed with your facts...

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We only submit these facts so he doesn't кill us.

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Rules of fighting:
1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.

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