Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.

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Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.

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Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.

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Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.

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Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.

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If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still кill them instantly.

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The party only starts when Chuck Norris walks in.

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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.

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Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.

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The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake

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Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.

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Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.

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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.

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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction... Then it rolled up into a ball.

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Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard?
He didn't, his beard grew him.

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Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner.
The corner always backs away.

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Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!

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Where was your mom last night?
At Chuck Norris' place.

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