Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.

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The Godfather once came to Chuck Norris and asked for a favor.

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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.

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The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.

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If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.

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Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system.
The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.

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Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.

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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.

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Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.

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Chuck Norris licence

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Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.

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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"

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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.

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Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.

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Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.

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Chuck Norris went around the world... by standing still.

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