Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really кill people.
They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

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Chuck Norris gave Iceman frostbite.

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Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."

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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

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Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.

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If you click on start, run, then type in Chuck Norris you will get a permanent blue screen of death.

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Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-вuтт.

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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.

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Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

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Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.

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There is a way to кill Chuck Norris, it is...
Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.

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Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.

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Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.

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Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.

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Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.

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The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.

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I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...

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The earth doesn't revolve around the sun.
It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.

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