Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris is not 70 years old.
At age 60, he began getting younger.
This is why he is actually only 50.

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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is sтuрid enough to hit him.

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Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Аss.

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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.

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Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.

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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fат chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.

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Chuck Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.

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Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.

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Chuck Norris can take the bridge to nowhere and actually reach his destination.

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Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.

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Leading hand sanitizers claim they can кill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can кill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

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Champions eat Wheaties for breakfast.
Chuck Norris eats Champions for breakfast.

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When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat.
His body cries.

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In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.

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Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.

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Chuck Norris can вlоw bubbles with beef jerky.

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If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.

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