Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.

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There are no comets.
Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.

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Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent.
They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.

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If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.

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Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.

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There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.

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Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.

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Chuck Norris was once hospitalised, becaused he kicked his own аss.

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Chuck Norris doesn't make typos.
Words simply stutter in his presence.

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Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage

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A horror movie is Chuck's comedy.

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Some people have alter egos.
Chuck Norris has no such thing.

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Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.

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Dante's Inferno is based on a Nature Walk Chuck Norris once took.

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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says,
"Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

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Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.

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Dragons watch a movie called 'How to train your Chuck Norris.'

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Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.

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