Chuck Norris

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Why is Chuck Norris still alive?
Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.

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Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.

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If it were true that you are what you eat.
Then you are about to be a roundhouse kick.

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

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Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.

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If Chuck Norris were to write his own "Chuck Norris Facts", this website would have to be changed to "Chuck Norris Laws. Com".

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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.

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Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.

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Chuck Norris is what makes the Central Nervous System nervous

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Revenge is a dish best served... By Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.

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Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.

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Chuck Norris designed and created two series of cars.
These are now known as Autobots and Decepticons.

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Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.

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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.

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Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

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There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"

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Chuck Norris is the ultimate hide and seek player; no one dares find him.

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