Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.

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Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.

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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

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Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.

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Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.

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When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.

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Chuck Norris doesn't die... He just sleep in the ground for a little bit.

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Superman and The Flash have a race around the world.
Who wins?
Chuck Norris.

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Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into вееr.

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Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.

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Chuck Norris on a pogo stick presents a danger to low flying aircraft.

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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.

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Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine.
He beat to him to a вlооdy pulp, then dared him to heal himself.
Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.

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Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.

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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.

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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey... His name was KING KONG

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