Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?"
Chuck Norris is your daddy.

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Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.

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Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.

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If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.

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When batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.

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A body in motion will remain in motion until roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

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A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.

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Latin insulted Chuck Norris. It is now a dead language.

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Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.

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Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.

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When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.

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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.

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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.

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We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!

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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.

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Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.

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