Chuck Norris

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Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so.
He remind him of Trivette...

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If you poke Chuck Norris on facebook he will kick you.
On facebook!

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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

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Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.

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The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town.
They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.

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Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.

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My insurance policy says:
"Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."

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When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris is allowed to draw pictures of Mohammad.

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Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life

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The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

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The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.

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Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.

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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just кill you softly with his song.

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A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.

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The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.

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On the show Man v. S Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.

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When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad.
It says he's Chuck Norris.

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