Chuck Norris

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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.

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A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shiт from anyone.

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Chuch Norris filmed the making of the first camera.

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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being sтuрid.

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Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.

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The world ends on December 21st, 2012.
Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.

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Iran reveals a plan to test its first Chuck Norris within a week.

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Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad.
It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.

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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.

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Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.

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Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam...
In the Sahara Desert.

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Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Chuck Norris came first.

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Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.

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Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.

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If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!

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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.

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Everyone knows the speed of light...
Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.

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