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Вицове за Хелоуин
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Halloween-Witze
Chistes de Halloween
Анекдоты про Хэллоуин
Blagues d'Halloween
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Αστεία για το Χάλοουιν
Вицови за Ноќта на Вештерките
Cadılar Bayramı Şakaları
Жарти на Хелловін
Piadas de Halloween
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Halloween-grappen
Halloween-vitser
Halloween-vitser
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I killed a vampire on Halloween this year... or a kid.
Either way, the wooden stake worked.
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A man has died and three others were injured after several stabbings in Croydon on Halloween.
Fuck me, Michael Myers is losing his touch.
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During halloween, I gave candy to every kids who came across my house. I remember seeing a person dressed as Darth Vader. So i thought that it would be okay to shout "he is the dark side!"
It was until he took off his helmet and realised that it was black man.
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My daughter is worried she might have НIV because she fuскеd Charlie Sheen.
Either she’s really dumb or I had the best Halloween costume ever.
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Just went to a Halloween under 16’s disco.
I told everyone that I came dressed as an old man.
I lied.
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Most of you girls should be housewives for Halloween. You've been hoes all year.
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I’ve been invited to my mother-in-law’s Halloween party. All my wife’s family will be there, wearing crazy costumes.
I wasn’t sure what to go as, but then I saw an advert for the new series of The Walking Dead, and it gave me a great idea.
I’ll stay in and watch that instead.
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Halloween Funnies II
What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein
What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Scream
What's a monsters favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet
What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo
What's a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist
How can you tell when you're in bed with Count Dracula?-
He has a big D on his pajamas
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Why wasn't the vampire working? He was on his coffin break.
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This dude goes to a Halloween costume party wearing only blue jeans; no shirt or shoes.
The host asks him, “What are you supposed to be?”
The guy says, “I’m a premature еjасulатiоn.”
“How in God’s name are you dressed as that?!”
“Because I just came in my pants.”
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Back in the days when he was a community organizer, Obama went to a Halloween costume party. He was just wearing his street clothes, and he had his wife sitting on his shoulders.
The host says to him, “Dude, this is a Halloween party! You’re supposed to be wearing a costume!”
Obama replied, I am wearing a costume! I’m a snail!”
“You’re a snail?”
“Yeah, I’m a snail,” said Obama. Then he pointed to his wife and said, “This is Michelle.”
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When they're nine years old, they have an attention-seeking constitution that is relentless... Honestly, it makes you want to drive drunк on Halloween. Look at Superman fly!
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Halloween Funnies
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What's a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
Because he was in need of a light snack.
Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?-
Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Boo boos.
Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin.
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Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunк!
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Вiтсh: Take off your mask. It's not Halloween.
Me: In case you didn't know you're looking at a mirror
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Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties? Because there is lots of school spirit!
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It was Halloween night... A man was walking home from work when he heard thump noises behind him. He turned around and saw a coffin following him. He was scared and started to run, the coffin kept right up with him. He got to his house ran through the front door, locked it and ran upstairs. The coffin busted through the front door and followed the man upstairs. The man ran for his life and then locked himself in the bathroom. The coffin burst into the bathroom. The man totally freaked out reached into the medicine cabinet and grabbed what he could find. What he grabbed was cough drops. He threw the cough drops at the coffin and the coffin stopped.
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HALLOWEEN FUNNIES part I
Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle!
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetit!
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein.
What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Scream.
What's a monster's favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet
What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray.
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