My girlfriend came and sat next to me on the sofa looking miserable.
“Cheer up,” I said.
“Oh I’m OK,” she sighed, “just a bit sad.”
“You’re fab,” I said.
“Thanks,” she said.
“You’re mine,” I said.
“I know silly!” she chuckled.
“I love you,” I said.
“Aww!” she gushed, “that’s so lovely.
Marry me, I said.
She squealed with joy and stood up and started clapping like a seal: she bellowed. Yes! Yes! Yes!
I looked up at her and said, Yes what?
Yes, I will marry you! she beamed.
Fuck off! I said. Here, have a Love Heart.