Most popular

A man dies, and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and starts talking to them.
"You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money."
Then she whispers, "You know that вlоw job I promised you? Well, here it comes."

76

0

Car and driving jokes | Gross jokes, Disgusting jokes | Money jokes | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Dirty jokes | Sick Jokes, Illness Jokes, Death Jokes

What do Saddam Hussien and General Custer have in common?
They were wondering where all of those Tomahawks were coming from.

76

0

Celebrity jokes, Celebrities Jokes, Pop Culture jokes | Military Jokes

Q: How do you know a blonde is having a bad day?
A: Her тамроn is behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil.

76

0

Men-Women jokes | Blonde Jokes | Sex Jokes

Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull his pants down?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.

76

0

Men-Women jokes | Dirty jokes | Weather jokes

- You can GET chocolate.
- Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft.
- You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
- You can have chocolate in in public.
- If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind.
- The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
- You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
- No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate.
- Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
- You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
- You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
- Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.

76

0

Food Jokes | Dirty jokes | Sex Jokes | Chocolate Jokes

It’s so cold I saw a socialists with his hands in his own pockets.

76

0

News & Politics | Money jokes | Political Joke | Weather jokes

Jim is up north on a trip and his car breaks down.
He checks it out for a minute and being a mechanic he pretty quickly knows he needs a tow truck.
He opens his phone and has no signal so he starts walking.
A few minutes later he here's the bass of a car coming in the distance, bht dum dum do buh dum dum do.
He waits and sees a low riding car pull up next to him.
The windows roll down and smoke pours out.
He sees a bunch of empty вееr bottles.
The driver and his 3 passengers ask "hey man! Need a lift? We saw your car up the road?"
He thinks for a minute and decides not to go with them.
The ask what's wrong with the car the mechanic replies "uhh just piston broke that's all" the driven than replies "eh so are we man hop in!"

76

0

Car and driving jokes | Men jokes | Communication Jokes | Travel jokes | Phone jokes | Beer Jokes

Jeff Bezos has invested $42 million to build a huge 500-foot tall underground clock that ticks once per year for 10,000 years.
He did this because he overheard his wife talking to a friend, he thought she said she wished he had a larger clock...

76

0

Money jokes | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Business jokes | Friendship Jokes

A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her.
He called his mother to share his good news with her.
He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee.
When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one.
He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law.
She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead."
"How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired.
She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."

76

0

Jokes about Women | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Wedding jokes | Mother in law jokes

Wife: "There's something preying on my mind."
Husband: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."

76

0

Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Communication Jokes

Wanna hear a pencil joke? Ugh, nevermind, it's pointless.

76

0

This could be considered the ideal world for many men:
His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties.
His mistress in the centerfold of Рlаyвоy.
A picture of his wife on the milk carton.

76

0

Dark Humor | Men jokes | Beauty Jokes

Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me.

76

0

Car and driving jokes | Jokes about Police Officers | Communication Jokes

My iPhone fell from the 20th floor.
Good thing it was in airplane mode.

76

0

Technology | Aviation Jokes | Stupid / Dumb Jokes | Phone jokes

Kid: "Mom, am I ugly?"
Mom: "I told you not to call me mom in public."

76

0

Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes | Ugly Jokes

Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.

76

0

Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke | Chuck Norris | Birthday Jokes | Sick Jokes, Illness Jokes, Death Jokes

A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities. I called several hotels, with no luck. Finally, I thought I had found one.
I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.
"No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there."

76

0

Work Jokes, Office Jokes | Fitness jokes | Customer service jokes | Hotel Jokes

While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out.
"Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."

76

0

Work Jokes, Office Jokes | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Dark Humor | Customer service jokes | Beauty Jokes | Sick Jokes, Illness Jokes, Death Jokes