Music jokes, Musician Jokes

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Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.

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What band is a соw favorite?
Moody Blues.

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Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.

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Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.

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What do cows like to listen to?
Moo-sic.

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Priest: Kim, do you take Kanye to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and cherish?
Kim: I..
*Kanye grabs mic*
Kanye: She do.

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Whats the difference between a coffin and a соndом?
One you go in the other you come in!

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I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".

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Every time you're sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.

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I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth.
And now, you're in your Vegas years.
You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet.
But you're still the King.

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Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.

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Kanye West interupted Chuck Norris and became Kanye East.

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One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening to a holy station on the radio. They were about 98 years old and so frail, they couldn't walk to church.
The preacher said, ''If you put one hand on the radio and one hand on whatever you want healed I will heal it for you.''
So the old woman put one hand on the radio and one hand on her heart.
The old man tried to not let the old woman see but he put one hand on the radio and one hand on his реnis.
The old woman looked over and said, ''He said he could heal, not raise the dead!''

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I'm actually glad that 2 Chainz mentions his name at the begin of every song.
It gives me time to change the radio station.

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Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.

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Yo mamma is sтuрid she bought tickets to Flo ridas concert but instead she went to Florida.

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Yo mama so sтuрid she thought that 2 quarters were the famous singer every one said wow she's so "right".

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Chuck Norris can make a rap video without booties and cars.

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