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Latest Jokes

Did you know that Uranus is as big as the moon

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Uranus jokes

In Joe Friday voice: This is Constable Augie of the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service. The phone line you have just dialed is currently under investigation on a warrant issued by the Attorney General of Canada. To facilitate our investigation, we would appreciate you leaving your name, number, a brief message, and any affiliations you may have made now, or in the past, with communist or terrorist organizations. Thank you.

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Friday jokes Military Jokes

Back 2 work, it's Monday!

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One-Liner Jokes Monday jokes

What is the difference between a beautiful dress and a bottle of Whiskey?
A beautiful dress can make one woman look gorgeous..
A bottle of whiskey can make all women look gorgeous.

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Jokes about Women Drinking and Drunk Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

What’s the difference between сосаinе and ecstasy?
Fingering my аnus doesn’t bring me сосаinе.

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Bad Habits Jokes

I wish I could be ugly for one day. … …
Being ugly every day suскs.

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Ugly Jokes

In order to attract women I like to use this quote from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Act III, Scene IV, line 82.
“Hello.”

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Jokes about Women Stupid Jokes

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sexist Jokes

Do you know why birds sing in the morning ?
Because, they don’t have to go to fuскing work.

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Office and Work Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

Just sitting here, musing about sтuрid stuff and conjecturing…
Before they invented baseballs, how did they measure hail?

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Philosophy Jokes

How do you make a black nervous? Take him to an auction.

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Black People Jokes

If you love a woman, you shouldn't be ashamed to show her to your wife.

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Jokes about Women Love Jokes

If I had my whole life to live over again, I don’t think I’d have the strength.

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Life Jokes

Think there’s a problem with my iPhone. The battery dies quicker than a black guy in the back of a police van.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Police Officer Jokes Political Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion.
No episode aired, as no one survived.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying , Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died and two weeks later Bob woke up to Brad’s voice. Brad said I’ve got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you’re up to bat next.

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Sports Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes

Why was the fаrт on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.

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Fart Jokes

I caught this сunт in the pub looking right at my wife’s аrsе in a queue and invited him outside.
Well I haven’t been in a fight in years, but dad always told me to kick ’em on their shins and I even took a run up to do it when he was taking off his coat.
Fcuk me, absolutely no effect, not even a wince and you know when you’re in trouble, so I just ran.
At first he chased, at one point gaining on me, but I said a little prayer and then thank fсuк, an act of God and he stopped dead in his tracks….
He’d got a puncture on his wheelchair.

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God Jokes Dad Jokes Disability Jokes

How did two oceans or seas become friends? Because they kept waving at each other.

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Friendship Jokes Communication Jokes

Immaculate conception is spreading rapidly, with adult born yesterday!

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Birthday Jokes