Newest jokes - Page 242

6.
Both are made out of plastic.5. Both are full of hot air.4. Both are frequently passed from man to man. 3. Both have been known to score.2. Both are often handled by hot, sweaty guys on television.1. Women aren't especially fond of them.

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Sports Jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who got a pair of waterskis?
She's still looking for a lake with a slоре!!

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Sports Jokes Blonde Jokes

A Catholic priest, a Baptist preacher and a rabbi fish in a lake. The preacher has to use the bathroom, so he walks across the water, does his business and walks back. Then the rabbi has to go, so he walks across the water, does his business and walks back.
The Catholic has to go, but when he gets out he falls into the water. He swims back, gets back into the boat, and says, "God, let me walk across the water." He tries again and falls into the water, swims back, tries again and falls again.
The Baptist leans over to the rabbi and asks, "Do you think we should tell him where the stepping stones are?"

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Sports Jokes Priest Jokes

Jоск Воотy Call... Walk:
If you make it to third base, I'll go ahead and walk you home. High five!

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Sports Jokes

It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year. To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, "I went on a choo-choo train ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a train ride." The second child says "I went on a tug-tug boat ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a boat ride." The third child says, full of pride, "I read a book."
"Which one?" asks the teacher. "Winnie-the-S**t!"

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Sports Jokes School Jokes

If you have a Virginia Tech football player and a UVA Foootball player in the same car at the same time, who drives?
The state trooper!!"

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Sports Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a Ford and a golf ball?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

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Sports Jokes Political Jokes

What do a hockey player and a magician have in common?
Hat tricks.

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Sports Jokes

One sportsman goes up to a non-athletic man and says, "If you aren't into sports, then you are gаy."
The non-athletic man responds, "Okay, riddle me this, riddle me that, if you're into sports, then you are into slapping each others аssеs?"

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Sports Jokes

Viаgrа Slogans:
10. The quicker picker upper!
9. One a day, like iron!
8. Get a piece of the rock!
7. You've come a long way, baby!
6. It plumps when you take 'em!
5. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!
4. Tastes great, more filling!
3. Viаgrа, built ram tough!
2. Here's the beef! And the number one slogan being considered by Viаgrа:
1. Just do her! Some honorable mentions: **We work harder, so you don't have to **Ten inches long...and growing! **Viаgrа, when it absolutely positively has to be there tonight! **Viаgrа, home of the Whopper! **Viаgrа now is a great time to be silver. **This is your реnis. This is your реnis on Viаgrа. Any questions?

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Sports Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Viagra jokes

What's the difference between sеx and golf?
In golf, a bad hole won't кill you!

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Sports Jokes

How Golf is like Urinating in a Public Restroom:
10. Keep your back straight, knees веnт, feet shoulder width apart.
9. Form a loose grip.
8. Keep your head down.
7. Avoid a quick backswing.
6. Stay out of the water.
5. Try not to hit anybody.
4. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead of you.
3. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others.
2. Be quiet while others are about to go.
1. Keep strokes to a minimum.

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Sports Jokes

In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression.
The instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth, screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and suggested earnestly, "A basketball coach?"

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Sports Jokes Men jokes

If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.

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Sports Jokes

Jоск Воотy Call... Unnecessary:
Hey ваве, I hear you're into unnecessary roughness. High five!

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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes

Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted.
Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!"
His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible."
Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, "Do you see it?"
Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!"
Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!"
Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."

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Sports Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Old People Jokes Golf jokes

One day mama bear and papa bear were getting a divorce. The judge decided that baby bear was going to live with mama bear. Baby bear started to cry . "Whats wrong?" the judge asked baby bear.
"I dont want to live with mama bear, she abuses me!" said baby bear.
"Then, you can live with papa bear" said the judge. Baby bear started to cry even harder the judge asked him, "Whats wrong?"
Baby bear replied, " I dont want to live with papa bear he abuses me even more than mama bear does."
"Then who do you want to live with?" asked the judge. Baby bear replied, "I want to live with the Baylor Bears, because they don't beat anyone!"

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Sports Jokes

Mike Tyson finally apologized to Holyfield for biting off his ear.
He said, "Believe it or not, I have learned many things about how to behave in society while I was in jail. So I would like to apologize to Mr. Holyfield for biting his ear in such a beastly way. Next time I promise to use a knife and fork."

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Sports Jokes

Did you know that Mike Tyson is to appear in the next Batman movie?
He's the Nibbler!

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Sports Jokes Superhero Jokes

Two fraternity brothers...
Two fraternity brothers decide to go sailing one afternoon and become lost. After twenty hours with nothing to eat or drink, one of them spots a lamp floating by. He picks it up and a genie pops out. The genie notices the poor condition of the brothers and grants them one wish between the two of them.
After a lot of arguing over who gets the wish, one of them blurts out, "I wish the ocean was made of вееr."
Magically, the ocean turns to вееr.
Infuriated, the other guy yells, "You idiот! Now we have to рiss in the boat!"

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