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Latest Jokes

Had to deal with with doctor’s receptionist this morning and managed to get an appointment..
Reminder to myself…add hostage negotiator to CV!!!!

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

Sometimes I worry about what other people think but then I remember that most people are super dumb and probably don’t think at all, like those that vote for our political leaders.

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Political Jokes Philosophy Jokes

Never break someone's heart because they have only one inside... Break their bones because they have 206 of them.

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Love Jokes

I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said,
"Are you two an item?"

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Life Jokes

Yesterday I ran into my ex.
He said that he would buy me a new iPhone if I spend the night with him.
Men are such jerks!
Sent from my iPhone 7.

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Men jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

My dad sat me down, brought the laptop in and said, “Son, I think it’s time to talk to you about роrnоgrарhy.”
“What about it?” I replied.
“How the hеll can I get past the filters without your mum knowing?”

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Dad Jokes Internet Jokes

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Yo mama so fат when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.

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Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

A guy goes to the first aid section of the hospital. He says: ‘I’ve got 3 ваlls, could you have a look?
A nurse takes him to the examination room, checks his ваlls, and says: ‘Nope, you’ve got 2 ваlls, just like any other man’
‘Impossible’, the guy says, ‘you should look better’
The nurse checks his ваlls again for a couple of minutes and says: ‘there’s really nothing wrong’
‘Get another nurse’, the guys demands.
Another nurse joins the club and starts checking his ваlls too and says: ‘Really, I only see 2 ваlls…
The guy says: ‘Okay, perhaps I’m mistaking…’, and he walks away.
Just outside he runs into his friend who says: ‘Hey, what are you doing here?
The guy: ‘Well… I was waiting for the bus and noticed that it could take at least 1 hour for the bus to arrive. So I thought, I’m gonna have some chicks rub and touch my sack for a while…

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Men jokes Friendship Jokes Nurse jokes Disability Jokes

A wise man once said... Nothing, he only listened.

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Men jokes Communication Jokes

What did the рrоsтiтuте say after fuскing Jesus? Nailed it!

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Christian Jokes

Got myself a Greek advent calendar today. Behind every door there’s a note saying “IOU chocolate”.

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Political Jokes Chocolate Jokes

Reed Richards posses a mastery of mechanical, aerospace, electrical engineering, chemistry and biology
But we all know why he's called Mr. Fantastick.

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Chemistry Jokes Biology jokes

I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sеx before marriage.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Sex Jokes Attitude Jokes

Yo momma’s so ugly, if she was a scarecrow, the corn would run away.

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Yo Momma Jokes

Baby you're so cute you made my page 404.

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Flirt jokes

Маdоnnа’s ‘Like a virgin’ came out 30 years ago.
I wonder when her follow up single, Like a hotdog in a hallway is coming out.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Single People Jokes

I was telling a guy at work how useless I am with the ladies, and how I had to stand on a chair to kiss last night’s date goodnight.
He said, “Wow! She was that tall?”
I said, “No, she hanged herself.”

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Office and Work Jokes Dating Jokes

I don't mind the Chinese students in my Math class being really good at the subject
But I must say, it's pretty cocky of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.

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School Jokes Math Jokes

What's Adolf Нiтlеr's favourite computer game?
Mein Kraft.

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Hitler Jokes