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A Scottish man was at a baseball game.
It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly.
The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double.
Everyone was on their feet screaming “Run, run!”
This happened two more times, with a single and a triple.
The Scottish man was now excited and ready to get into the game.
The next batter came up and four ваlls went by.
The umpire called “walk” and the batter started on a slow trot to first.
The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye ba$$tarrd, rrrun!”
Everyone around him started laughing so the Scotsman, extremely embarrassed, sat back down.
The fаn sitting next to the Scotsman noticed his embarrassment, so he leaned over and explained, “He can’t run because he got four ваlls.”
The Scotsman immediately stood up and screamed, “Walk with pride, man! Walk with pride!”
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A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a вееr.
The bartender looks at the drunк man and says,”I’m sorry sir, but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink.”
The guy swears and walks out of the bar.
Five minutes later the guy comes flying through the side door of the bar, and yells for a вееr.
Again the bartender says,”I’m sorry, sir…but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink!”
Ten minutes later, the same guy comes barrel-assing through the back door of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a вееr.
Again, the bartender says to the man…”I’m really sorry, sir, but you’ve had too much to drink…you’re going to have to leave!”
The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, “My God, man… How many bars do you work at?!”
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GOD said, "Adam, I want you to do something for me."
"Gladly, Lord," replied Adam.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Go down into the valley."
"What's a valley?" asked Adam.
God explained to him, then said, Cross the river."
"What's a river?"
God explained it to him, and then continued, "Go over the hill".
"What's a hill?"
God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, "On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave."
"What's a cave?"
After God explained, he said, "In the cave you will find a woman."
Adam asked, "What's a woman?"
So God explained that to him too. He continued, "I want you to reproduce."
"How do I do that?"
"Jeez," God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He
liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the
cave where he found a woman."
A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, "What's a headache?"
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth, so I want you to kiss her." Adam answered, "Yes, Lord, but what is a 'kiss'?" The Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who then took Eve by the hand and led her to a... Depois de uns dias, o Senhor chamou Adão e disse: — É tempo de você e Eva começarem o processo de povoar a Terra. Portanto, quero que você a beije. — Sim, Senhor — concorda Adão — Mas o que é um... I begynnelsen skapade Gud Adam. Adam satt och tittade på månen, stjärnorna, himlen, sjöarna, floderna, växterna, djuren och alla andra saker som Gud skapat. Gud kände att Adam behövde lite sällskap... Nadat Adam en Eva een paar dagen op aarde waren, zei God tegen Adam: "Het wordt tijd dat Eva en jij aan het proces gaan beginnen, de aarde van meer bewoners te voorzien, dus begin maar eens met...
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Вие близнаци ли сте? – Вие близнаци ли сте? - Добар ден... - Добар ден, извинете, дали сте близнаци? - Не, зошто прашувате? - Па, мајка ви исто ве облекла, баш сте слатки! - Господине, ве молам излезете од автомобилиот и донесете ја возачката и сообраќајната дозвола!
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