Newest jokes

Three doves are sitting in a tree.
Suddenly they spot an airplane in the distance. One nudges the other:
- ”Look at that! That is fast!”
The other looks at him:
“You’d be too I if your вuтт was on fire.“

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

A lady walks into a shop in a mall and addresses the shop assistant, “Hi. I really need a stronger pair of glasses.”
“Oh yeah you do,” says the shop assistant, “this is a bakery.”

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

“One egg asks another egg:
“Why are you so hairy?”
“’Cause I’m a kiwi.”

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

An ant saw an elephant running towards him. He was afraid that the elephant would step on him. What did the ant do?
He quickly hid behind a tree, waited and then tripped the elephant up.

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Two neighbors are chatting and one says, “You know, Jim, you have such a teeny, tiny dog. Why the heck do you have a sign saying ‘Beware of the dog’?”
Jim says, “Basically I don’t want anybody to stumble over him.”

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

What is every pirate’s favorite letter?
(Everyone answers Arrr)
Yeah, you’d think it’s R, but it’s really C!

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Antonia buys 5 chocolate bars. Her friend Julie asks her for 2 of them. How many chocolate bars does Antonia end up with?
Answer: Five. Antonia is quite a greedy girl.

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

How does a school differ from an insane asylum?
Different phone numbers.

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Teacher cracks down on Little Johnny:
“Come now, Johnny! Admit it. You had your parents help you with the homework, didn’t you?”
Little Johnny replies:
“Absolutely not. They did it all by themselves!“

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Have I told you the joke about the roof?
Actually, never mind, it would be way over your head!

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

What button is it impossible to unbutton?
The belly button!

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Mommy, do you know if God has to go to the toilet too?
No child. Of course not. What makes you think this way?
Well grandpa knocked on the bathroom door this morning and said:
“Oh God! Please hurry up!”

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

What is the single most popular subject at a snake school? Hisssstory.

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Raphael runs to his father and starts talking to him urgently, “Dad, dad…”
His father turns to him angrily and says, “I’ve had it with you constantly interrupting me. From now on you’ll speak only when I’ve asked you something!”
Raphael thinks for a second and continues, “OK dad, can you please ask me if you’ve forgotten to put in the handbrake and if your car is now rolling down the road?”

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Why did the teacher have to visit the eye specialist?
She just couldn't control her pupils!

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Teacher:
“I hope I won’t catch you copying from Clarissa!”
Paula:
“Oh, I hope so too!“

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Why did the bird have to go to the hospital?
He was scheduled for a tweetment.

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

What keeps going up and down but doesn't move? - The temperature!

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Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes