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Latest Jokes

Why was the math textbook so sad?
He had a lot of problems!

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Math Jokes

They make Bush out to sound like he's Нiтlеr. And people have to remember that there's a big difference between Bush and Нiтlеr: Нiтlеr wrote a book.

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Insult Jokes Hitler Jokes American Presidents Humor

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

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Sex Jokes Jokes about Women Wine jokes Restaurant Jokes

A son is on the computer and he comes across the word gаy. He asks his dad, “What does gаy mean?”
“It means happy.”
“So dad, are you gаy?” the son asks.
Dad replies, “No son, I have a wife.”

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Dad Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

A man was on a long walk in the country. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire.

There was a baby pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly.

The housewife replied, "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."

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Friendship Jokes Men jokes Farmer Jokes

I used to be in love with a girl from Moscow. I almost asked her to marry me but I didn’t want to Russia.

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Relationship Jokes Russian Jokes

After planning the wedding for six months, the big day arrives tomorrow and I’ve only one regret.
I won’t see her face when she gets the April Fools’ text.

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April Fools' Jokes Dating Jokes

A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunк who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunк for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is. "Well," said the drunк, "it looks like plastic and feels like rubber."
"Let me have it," said the lawyer. Taking it, he began to roll it between his thumb and forefinger, examining it closely. "Yes," he finally said, "it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but i don't know what it is. Where did you get it?"
"From my nose," the drunк replied.

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Lawyer Jokes

I had a quiet New Year’s Eve. Nothing to drink, TV switched off by 8.00pm, then bed with a long sеx session to end the night.
I hate prison.

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Sex Jokes New year jokes

John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!

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Knock-knock jokes School Jokes

Met a beautiful girl at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sеx there and then.
God, I love my new Taser.

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Sex Jokes God Jokes Criminal Jokes

Welcome to Asia’s newest billionare.
His name is Cha Ching.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Asian jokes

Having sеx with your ex on a Thursday isn’t cheating, it’s a throwback.

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Sex Jokes Cheating Jokes

How to cook a Turkey
Bring home a turkey
Take a drink of scotch
Put turkey in the oven
Take another 2 drinks of scotch
Set the degree at 375 ovens
Take 3 more scotch of drink
Turk the bastey
Scotch another bottle of get
Ponder the meat thermometer
Glass yourself a pour of scotch
Bake the scotch for 4 hours
Take the oven out of the turkey
Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Turk the carvey
Get yourself another scottle of botch
Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Bless the dinner and pass out!

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Thanksgiving Jokes

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."

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Fitness jokes Sports Jokes Phone jokes

Why dont black women wear раnтiеs to picnics?
to redirect the flies from the chicken

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Jokes about Women

Yes 4 out of 5 dentists recommend sugar free gum to their patients who chew gum, but we all wonder what the 5th dentist thinks, right?

He says ,"Eat all the sugar you want, it keeps me in business!"

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Dentist Jokes

When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells:
"CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!"
When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells:
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

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Aviation Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Ted said to his friend, 'can you lend me $10?'
'But I only have $8,' his friend replied.
That's OK, you can always owe me the other $2!

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Friendship Jokes Money jokes

What is a teacher's favorite kind of music?
Class-ical.

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Music and Musician Jokes School Jokes