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I met her on the Internet,
she said her name was Kiki,
I spoke to her one Saturday,
it soon became twice weekly.
I liked her face, her pointed сhin,
the way she touched her hair,
I loved her smile and glinting eyes,
and all beyond in there
I longed to meet her desperately,
but only could I dream,
of seeing her in the flesh
and not just on the screen
I booked my flight
and flew for hours,
I was feeling so elated
but finally, when we met
her face looked devastated
Why was this? I could not think.
Of course, I should have told her
I’m really only 4 feet tall,
and my head’s a lot more balder.
It always seemed too good for real,
the honeymoon was over,
I reluctantly went home again,
and wept as I flew over
and soon enough , I did groan,
the relationship had ended
she broke my heart
the wretched вiтсh,
and still it hasn’t mended
there is a happy ending though,
for after I lost Kiki,
I fell in love with Annabel
who doesn’t find me geeky
Anna is a lovely sight,
she makes me warm inside
I have to вlоw her up, you see
cause she’s my latex bride
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A man comes home and finds he has a letter from the Inland Revenue, advising him that he’s going to be audited. In a panic, he calls his accountant:
“ОМG, I’m going to be audited, what do I do?” he says.
“Don’t worry, I have all your receipts and paperwork in order.” says the accountant. “But I have a piece of advice for you: wear scruffy clothes, that way the auditor will think you’re down on your luck and take pity on you.”
The man then calls his lawyer to see if there are any legal ramifications related to auditing that he should know about.
“…and remember, if anything doesn’t seem right, call me!” says the lawyer. “Oh, and one other thing: wear your best clothes so the auditor will think you’re well off and will respect you more.”
Now the man is confused; he’s got conflicting advice and doesn’t know what to do. So he goes to his pastor and explains the situation.
“Well, my son, let me tell you a story.” says the pastor. “Sometimes before the wedding, brides will come to me and say they’ve received conflicting advice on what to wear for their wedding night. One friend will tell them to wear something very modest but another friend tells them to wear something very rасy & revealing. I’m going to give you the same advice I give them.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” says the man.
“It doesn’t matter what you wear-your still gona get fuскеd!”
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