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Десетокластничка се прибира вкъщи се оплаква на баща си: Седмоодделенецот што и се пуштал на соученичката - Papá, ayer empecé a salir con mi nuevo novio. Es mecánico, y me dijo que tengo 2 bellos amortiguadores además de 2 magníficos parachoques. - ¡Dile a tu novio que si abre el capó y mide el aceite... - Papa, je ne comprends pas, mon copain m'a dit que j'avais un joli châssis, deux beaux amortisseurs et un magnifique pare-chocs... - Et bien dis à ton copain, que s'il ouvre le moteur pour y... Une fille va voir son père et lui demande : - Papa, je n'ai pas compris, mon copain m'a dis que j'avais châssis, deux beaux amortisseurs et un magnifique pare-chocs. Qu'est-ce que ça veut dire ?... Κόρη: - Μπαμπά, εχθές ένας νεαρός από το σχολείο, μου είπε κάτι που δεν το καταλαβαίνω. Μου είπε ότι έχω καταπληκτικό σασί, δυο πανέμορφα αμορτισέρ και δυο φοβερούς προφυλακτήρες. Τί εννοούσε;... Lány az apjának: - Apa, egy srác olyat mondott, amit nem értek. Azt mondta, hogy szép a szélvédőm, gyönyörű a csomagtartóm és a futóművem, jó a kasztnim és kifogástalanok az ütközőim. Ez mit... Iskolából hazajövet a lány közli Édesapjával: " - Apuci ma az iskolában az egyik fiú mondta olyasmit mondott nekem, amit nem értek: szép a szélvédőm, gyönyörű a csomagtartóm, jó a kasznim és... Dívka hovoří k otci: Tati…Jeden chlapec ve škole mi řekl něco , čemu jsem tak docela nerozuměla. Říkal že mám pěkný čelní sklo , překrásný kufr , super karosérii a moje nárazníky jsou bezchybné….... Ateina dešimtokė pas tėvą: - Tėti, man vienas vaikinas pasakė, kad mano apdaila nebloga, didelis bamperis ir kad būtų įdomu pažiūrėti, kas yra po kapotu... Ką tai reiškia? - Tu jam perduok, kad tau...
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A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.
(Actual letter):
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):
"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S. , from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.
For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France , which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain
The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Сhrisт, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana . God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our dамn loan?"
The loan was approved.
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If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays. Hey girl, if your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I cum between the holidays? Zwischen den Feiertagen Zwischen Weihnachten und Silvester Ham: Hej, jeg synes du har meget pæne ben, er det i orden jeg kalder dem jul og påske? Hende: Ja? Ham: Hva’ så med at invitere mig på ferie mellem højtiderne?
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Мъж и жена гледат психологично предаване. Мъж и жена си пийват ракийката и си приказват. Мъжът пита: A man comes home and tells his wife to tell him something that is going to laugh and cry. Le dice un hombre a su mujer: -Te apuesto 50 euros a que no eres capaz de decirme algo que sea capaz de alegrarme y entristecerme a la vez. A lo que ella responde: -De tu grupo de amigos, el que la... Муж: Может ли человек одновременно быть счастливым и грустным? Sagt der Ehemann zu seiner Frau: Ein Mann sagt zu seiner Frau: Die Frau kommt spät nach Hause, ihr Mann sieht sich gerade eine Quizsendung im TV an. Un homme dit à sa femme:  - Dis moi quelque chose qui me fasse à la fois plaisir et qui m'énerve.  La femme réfléchit et dit:  - De tous tes potes c'est toi qui a la plus grosse. Чоловік розмовляє з дружиною: — Б'юся об заклад, ти не зможеш мені сказати в одному реченні таке, щоб одночасно мене порадувати і роздосадувати! — В тебе найбільший член з усіх твоїх друзів! Mies ja vaimo istuivat katsomassa TV-ohjelmaa, joka käsitteli psykologiaa ja sekoitettuja tunteita, kuten olla samanaikaisesti onnellinen ja surullinen. Mies kääntyi vaimon puoleen ja sanoi:...
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John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends.
One night, they both died in a terrible car accident.
When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere.
Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!"
St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven."
This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time.
St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hеll with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other.
John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?"
"My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of вееr? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
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The guys are all at a deer camp.  No one wants to room with Bob, because he snores so badly.  They decide it isn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they vote to take turns.  The first guy sleeps with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.  They say, “Man, what happened to you?”  He says, “Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.”
The next night it is a different guy’s turn.  In the morning, same thing - hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.  They say, “Man, what happened to you? You look awful!”  He says, ‘Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night.”
The third night is Fred’s turn.  Fred is a tanned, older cowboy; a man’s man.  The next morning he comes to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.  “Good morning!” he says.  They can’t believe it.  They say, “Man, what happened?”  Fred says, “Well, we got ready for bed.  I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the вuтт, and kissed him good night.  Bob sat up and watched me all night.”
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- Каква е разликата между жената и любовницата? The 45 Difference Llega un niño con su papá y le pregunta: ¿Papá, cuál es la diferencia entre esposa y amante? A lo que el papá responde: Pues, como 40 kilos, hijo. Quelle est la différence entre un dollar et un rouble ? Quelle est la différence entre une femme et une petite amie ? - 20 kg Quelle est la différence entre un mari et un petit ami ? - 20 minutes Ποια είναι η διαφορά μεταξύ μιας ερωμένης και μιας συζύγου; - Яка різниця між дружиною і коханкою? - Кілограмів двадцять ... - А яка різниця між чоловіком і коханцем? - Хвилин 30 ... Qual a diferença entre a esposa e a namorada? R:trinta quilos - Jaka jest różnica między żoną a kochankiem? - 30 kg. A między mężem a kochankiem? - 30 minut. Vad är skillnaden mellan en fru och en flickvän? Svar: 25 kilo ungefär. Wat is het verschil tussen je echtgenote en je minnares? Ongeveer 20 kg. Hvad er forskellen på konen og elskerinden? Det er 30 kg. Hva er forskjellen på kona og elskerrinnen? - 50 Kg. Mitä eroa on vaimolla ja rakastajattarella? Yleensä kaksikymmentä vuotta ja yhtä monta kiloa. Care-i diferenta intre sotie si amanta? =de vreo 25kg= - Dar intre sot si amant? =de 45 minute=
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