Doctor's jokes, Health Jokes, Medical joke

Q:Why is a doctor always calm.
A: Because it has a lot of patients.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

If you are ill, so lie down and you'll walk it sooner loose.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant?
A: She sneezes.

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Blonde Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.

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Dark Humor Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Morbid jokes

The woman comes with her husband to the psychiatrist and tells the psychiatrist:
"Please, do something with my man, because he thinks of himself that he is a horse."
The psychiatrist says: "Oh, it will be a long and expensive therapy."
The woman: "Ok, don´t worry, we can enough money because my husband has already won three times the horse racings."

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Animal Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

A woman starts dating a doctor. She eventually becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle." "Do you think it will work?" she asks. "It's worth a try," he says. The doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation, he goes to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this." "What happened?" asks the priest. "You gave birth to a child!" "But that's impossible!" says the priest. "I just did the operation," insists the doctor. "It's a miracle! Here's your baby." About 15 years go by, and the priest realizes he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father." The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies, "I am your mother. The archbishop is your father."

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Religion jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dating Jokes Baby Jokes Priest Jokes

A young woman said to her doctor, 'You have to help me, I hurt all over.' 'What do you mean?' said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled,'Ow, that hurts.' Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, 'Ouch! That hurts, too.' Then she touched her right earlobe. 'Ow, even THAT hurts.' The doctor asked the woman, 'Are you a natural blonde?' 'Why yes,' she said. 'I thought so,' said the doctor. 'You have a sprained finger.'

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Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes

The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor."
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."

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One-Liner Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Insurance Comedy

A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time and is awfully nervous.
When the doctor comes into the examining room, he notices immediately that she's very tense.
"Listen, dear. I know this must be scary for you. Do you want me to give you some thing to numb you down there?"
The girl doesn't say anything, but just nods her head yes.
So the doctor removes her underwear, puts his mouth in her crotch.
"Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb..."

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Gynecology Jokes Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital... twice.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist.
At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart.
A man laughs.
Another man asks him why he laughed.
He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Funeral jokes Sick and Death Jokes

How did the medical community come up with the term "РМS"? "Mad Соw Disease" was already taken.

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Sexist Jokes

Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out.
After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?"
"Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!"
"What do you brush with?" asked the dentist.
"Preparation H," said the redneck.

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Dentist Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Redneck jokes Stupid Jokes

Did you hear about the male рrоsтiтuте who got leprosy?
He did okay until his business fell off.

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Business jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes

"Doctor I feel like biscuits!"
"What, you mean those square ones?"
"Yes!"
"The ones you put butter on?"
"Yes!"
"Well, that means you’re crackers!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

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Men jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Flirt jokes Love Jokes

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!"
Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!"
Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a piano player in a whоrеhоusе!"
The teacher couldn't believe what she's had just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening to discuss the situation.
Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid!"

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Student jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Lawyer Jokes Dad Jokes

Romi (to the doctor): "Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift."
Doctor: "Tell her to come in."
Romi: "I cannot"
Doctor: "Why so?"
Romi: "Because she does not stop at this floor."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

Three friends decided to go hunting together. One was a lawyer, one a doctor, and the other a preacher. As they were walking, along came a big buck. The three of them shot at the same time and the buck dropped immediately. The hunting party rushed to see how big it actually was. Upon reaching the fallen deer, they found out that it was dead but had only one bullet hole.A debate followed concerning whose buck it was. When a game warden came by, he offered to help. A few moments later, he had the answer.He said with much confidence, "The pastor shot the buck!" The friends were amazed that he could determine that so quickly and with so little examination. The game warden just smiled. "It was easy to figure out. The bullet went in one ear and out the other."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Yo mama so fат when Dracula bit her he said "1 diabete, 2 diabete, 3 diabete".

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Yo Momma Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Fat Jokes Vampire jokes