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Geek jokes

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Word used by programmers when they do not want to explain what they did.
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If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better"
Does that mean it'll run on Linux?
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Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
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Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women?
A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
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Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
A: Classical conditioning.
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3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.
A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
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My software never has bugs.
It just develops random features.
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UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s вrеаsт.
Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
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I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
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Why use Linux:
No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
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Sатаn greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you.
This will be your home for all eternity.
You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life.
Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured.
He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.
Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table.
To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."
"Fine," says Sатаn, allowing Bill to enter the room. Sатаn locks the room after Bill.
As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.
"That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer.
"Why did you give him the best place of all!"
"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Sатаn.
"The bottle has a hole in it!"
"What about the PC?"
"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Sатаn.
"And it's missing three keys,"
"Which three?"
"Control, Alt and Delete."
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The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
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Two geeks are talking over lunch.
The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning.
A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' …
So I took the bike"
The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
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My attitude isn't bad.
It's in beta.
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The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
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Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
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CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
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Програмист : Машина, която преобразува кафе в код Matematico: una macchina che converte caffè in teoremi.
Programmer: A machine that turns coffee into code.
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Geek Воотy Call... Math:
How about we add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply?
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