Gross Jokes

Most popular in this category

Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?

15 1

What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.

12 0

Two gаy men are walking down the street trying to вuм a ride.
A truck driver picks them up.
After a while the first gаy man asked in a very gаy voice, "Please sir can I fаrт?"
The truck driver then says, "Yeah sure who cares."
So the gаy guy goes "РООF".
Then the second gаy man asks if he can fаrт. The truck driver says he doesn't care and the second gаy man went ''рооf''.
Then the big truck driver goes to the gаy men and says, "Ok gentlemen can I fаrт?"
The gаy men say right on and the truckdriver lets it вlоw.
The fаrт was huge and smelly and loud.
The gаy men then say, "He is obviously a virgin."

26 0

There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up.
He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rестuм.
Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?"
To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips."
Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?"
"No, but it stops me from licking them!"

28 0

A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island.
After one month the woman says:
"I can not proceed in this way."
And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they dig up the woman.

9 0

Yo momma so gross, her shadow leaves a grease trail.

0 0

Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

28 0

Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics?
A: Having two legs.

0 0

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
A: The big hand touches the little one.

29 0

What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
Threesomes.

28 0

Yo Mama so hairy, when she shaved her legs, your dad thought she got a new carpet.

57 0

If you think you have shiттy job, what if you were toilet paper!

57 0

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urinе as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.

57 0

That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.

58 0

A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices stange growth on his реnis.
He sees several doctors.
They all say: "You've been sсrеwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We'll have to cut it off."
The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it.
So he goes back and sees a doctor in Pakistan.
The doctor examines him and says, "You've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?"
The man replies, "Yes a few in the USA."
The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off."
The man answers, "Yes!"
The doctor smiles, nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."

37 0

Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what."
Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready."
Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave."
Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know."
Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you."
Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does."
Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry."
Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my раnтiеs are just red."
Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going."
Her: "I'm really on my period."
Him: "Dамn! He got shot again..."

59 0

After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whоrеhоusе.
He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20.
The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left.
He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room.
To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting nакеd on the bed.
So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life.
Upon оrgаsм he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs.
He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"

31 0

Q: What's the difference between apple pie and рussy?
A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.

29 0

I am a dog
And you are a flower.
I lift my leg up
And give you a shower.

49 4

If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.

60 0