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Вицове за Хелоуин Halloween Jokes Halloweenwitze Chistes de Halloween Анекдоты про Хэллоуин Blagues d'Halloween Barzellette di Halloween Ανέκδοτα για το Χάλοουιν Вицеви за Ноќта на Вештерките Cadılar Bayramı Fıkraları Жарти на Хелловін Piadas de Halloween Żarty na Halloween Halloweenskämt Halloween Moppen Halloween-vittigheder Halloween-vitser Halloween vitsit Halloween viccek Glume de Halloween Vtipy o Halloweenu Halloween'o juokai Joki par Helovīnu Vicevi o Noći vještica
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Halloween Jokes

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Michael:
"What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?"
Matthew:
"I don't know. What?"
Michael:
"Candy corneas."
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Halloween Jokes Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
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Halloween Jokes Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Holiday Jokes Pirate Jokes
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunк.
You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.
You own a homemade fur coat.
The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.
The вееr can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.
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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Halloween Jokes Beer Jokes Dog jokes
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of sтuрid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Halloween Jokes Stupid Jokes
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Halloween Jokes
Мешање Weihnachten und Silvester verwechseln Pourquoi les programmeurs mélangent toujours Noël et l'Halloween ? - Parce que DEC 25 = OCT 31 (25 décimales (dec), équivalent à 31 octets (oct),), Warum verwechseln Mathematiker Weihnachten und Halloween? How come legacy programmers get Halloween and Christmas confused? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25 (Octal 31 = Decimal 25) Warum verwechseln Informatiker Halloween und Weihnachten? Oct(31) == dec(25) Proč si matfyzáci pletou Vánoce s Halloweenem? Protože DEC 25 je to samé, co OCT 31. - Kodėl programuotojai kartais maišo Helovyną su Kalėdomis? - Nes Oct 31 lygu Dec 25.
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes Christmas Jokes Halloween Jokes Geek jokes
Zwischen den Feiertagen Zwischen Weihnachten und Silvester Ham: Hej, jeg synes du har meget pæne ben, er det i orden jeg kalder dem jul og påske? Hende: Ja? Ham: Hva’ så med at invitere mig på ferie mellem højtiderne? If Thanksgiving is your left leg and Christmas is your right leg, can I visit between the holidays? Hey girl, if your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I cum between the holidays?
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
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Christmas Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Halloween Jokes Flirt jokes
On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Halloween Jokes
Yo momma is so ugly, she works as a halloween mask model 12 months a year.
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Office and Work Jokes Halloween Jokes Yo Momma Jokes
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.
Sincerely, Michael Myers
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Dark Humor Jokes Kids Jokes Halloween Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
A Halloween joke
Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing?
Because they're crab apples!

A vampire joke
What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A blood hound!

A ghost joke
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!

A demon joke
What do you call a demon who slurps his food?
A goblin!

A ghost joke
What do you have to take to become a coroner?
A stiff exam!

A cannibal joke
What does a cannibal eat with cheese?
Pickled organs!

A cannibal joke
What did the cannibal say when he was full?
''I couldn't eat another mortal!''
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Halloween Jokes Vampire jokes Dog jokes
"I heard JC Penney was opening even earlier for Black Friday this year!"
"Really, when?"
"Halloween."
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Halloween Jokes One-Liner Jokes Friday jokes
"I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I'd get."
"I remember the time I was kidnaped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
"My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair."
I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing."
"Once when I was lost.. I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him...Do you think we'll ever find them.? He said..I don't know kid.. there are so many places they can hide."
"I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor... so they sent a priest up to talk to me. He said.. On your mark..."
"On Halloween..the parents send their kids out looking like me. Last year.. one kid tried to rip my face off! Now it's different.. when I answer the door the kids hand me candy."
"I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face."
"My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday"
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Police Officer Jokes Halloween Jokes Priest Jokes
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
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Vampire jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Halloween Jokes
I never wear a Halloween costume... I'm a character all year long!
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Halloween Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Mrs. Donnell said to her maid:
"Oh Mary, I suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."
"I don't believe it," Mary snapped:
"you're just saying that to make me jealous."
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Marriage and Family Jokes Halloween Jokes Secretary Jokes Cheating Jokes
Q: What kind of candy do Indians give out on Halloween?
A: Dots.
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Halloween Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes
A Halloween joke
What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party?
The cat are her!

A ghost joke
How do ghosts keep fit?
By regular exorcise!

A cannibal joke
What did the cannibal make of her new friend?
A hotpot!

A ghost joke
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!

A cannibal joke
Why did the cannibal have a hangover?
He went to a party and got stewed!

A ghost joke
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!

A vampire joke
Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food?
He wanted something to get his teeth into!
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Halloween Jokes Vampire jokes
One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as "Rocky" in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more. "Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep several minutes ago?" I asked."Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the sequel. I'll be back three more times tonight too."
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Halloween Jokes
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight.
It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
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Dark Humor Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Halloween Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
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