Math jokes, Mathematics Jokes, Mathematicians jokes, Algebra Jokes

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

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Which Hole?
A mathematician, a philosopher, and a blonde all go to Неll and receive a challenge from the Devil - if they can stump him, they're free to go to heaven instead. The philosopher goes first and asks the Devil a very hard philosophy question - to which the Devil snaps his fingers, gets a book, and gives the answer. The mathematician tries as well - but the Devil instantly gets the answer. When it comes to the blonde, she pulls up a chair and drills three holes in it. She then sits down in the chair and farts.
"Now," she says, "which hole did the fаrт come out of?"
"That's easy," says the Devil. "All of them."
"No, sтuрid! It came out of my вuттhоlе!"

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Blonde Jokes Math Jokes Philosophy Jokes

Two rednecks, Bubba and Соотеr, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history and logic.
"What's logic?" asked Bubba.
The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a wееd-whacker?"
"I sure do," answered the redneck.
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.
"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.
The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."
Impressed, the redneck shouted, "AMAZING!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"Betty Mae! This is incredible!"
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.
"You're absolutely right! Why, that's the most fascinating thing I ever heard of! I can't wait to take this here logic class."
Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Соотеr waswaiting.
"So, what classes are ya takin?" he asks.
"Math, history and logic," replies Bubba.
Cooter asks, "What's logic?"
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a wееd-eater?"
"No."
"You're gаy, ain't ya?"

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Blue Collar Jokes Math Jokes

Q: What's a polygon?
A: A dead parrot.

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Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Math Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Parrot jokes

Q: What's the difference between a man and a pig?
A: There's a difference?

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Insult Jokes Gross Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Math Jokes Fat Jokes

Q: Why is six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate nine.

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Kids Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Math Jokes

A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old.
One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband that says, "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't you wait up for me."

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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Old People Jokes College jokes Math Jokes School Jokes

Geek Воотy Call... Math:
How about we add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply?

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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Geek jokes Math Jokes Flirt jokes

Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?
A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

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Men vs Women Jokes School Jokes Blonde Jokes Math Jokes

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Math Jokes Phone jokes

Q: What is 6.9?
A: A really great thing ruined by a period.

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Men vs Women Jokes Sex Jokes Math Jokes

Confucious say, ''There are three kinds of people in the world:
Those who can count - and those who can't.''

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News and Politics Jokes Office and Work Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes Accountant Jokes Math Jokes

Q: Why is the math book always upset?
A: Because it has a lot of problems.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Math Jokes

A redneck family's only son returns home from college. The father asks, "Well son, you done gone to college, so you must be perty smart. Why don't you speak some math fer' us?"
The son says, "Pi R squared."
The father yells, "Why son, they ain't teached ya nothin'! Pies are round, cornbread are square."

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Redneck jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Dad Jokes Math Jokes

Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'"
Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Math Jokes

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a pencil and paper.

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Gross Jokes Office and Work Jokes Math Jokes

Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, "I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized."
Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.''
Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.''

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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Lawyer Jokes Math Jokes

A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test.
The engineer went in first and was asked, ''''What is 2+2?'''' The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, ''''4.'''' Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, ''''4.0'''' Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, ''''What do you want it to be?''''

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Office and Work Jokes Lawyer Jokes Math Jokes

Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don’t believe in higher powers.

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Science jokes Religion jokes Math Jokes Atheist Jokes

Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.

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Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Math Jokes