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Вицове за училището English Witze über die Schule Chistes sobre la escuela Анекдоты про Школу Blague sur l'école Barzellette sulla Scuola Ανέκδοτα για το σχολείο Вицеви за училиштето Okul fıkraları Анекдоти про Школу Piadas sobre a escola Żarty o szkole Skämt om skolan Grappen over school Vittigheder om skolen Vitser om skolen Kouluvitsit Iskolai viccek Glume despre şcoală Vtipy o škole Anekdotai apie mokyklą Joki par skolu Vicevi o školi
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School Jokes

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One time this kid came back from school and said “Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?” And his mom said "Good news please.’’ and the boy said “I got 100% on my math test today” and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said “Now to the bad news, I LIED”
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Yo mamma is so fат, the only good grade she got in school was an "A" in lunch.
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Why are Canadian students so smart?
They get lots of ehs.
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My biology teacher grew human vocal chords from stem cells in the lab, the results...
... speak for themselves
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My physics teacher said i have potential
And then pushed me down the stairs
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A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian women and a girl in a wheel chair walk into a bar
They are celebrating being on the cover of a middle school math book
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A young black Jew asks his father, "Dad, am I more black or more Jew?"...
"Why do you ask?" asks the Dad.
The boy says,
"Well, a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I want to haggle him down to $100, or just steal it."
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So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.
Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.
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At school they taught us that XXX is Roman Numerals. I typed XXX on Google and the Romans came out nакеd.
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Which school subject was the witch’s favorite?
Spelling.
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Why did the med student fail anatomy? She just couldn't cut it.
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What did the cadaver say to the anatomy student? You stole my heart.
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A professor of taxation delivers a highly detailed, brilliant lecture drawing the distinction between tax avoidance and tax evasion. He then asks his brightest student,
"Tell us succinctly what the difference is between tax avoidance and tax evasion.".
The student replies:
"Jail."
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A young student looking for a job goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store.
The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?” The kid says “Very little.” Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.” His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many customers bought something from you today?” The kid says “One”.
The boss says “Just One? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?” The kid says “$165,000”.
The boss says “$165,000? What the heck did you sell?” The kid says, “First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold hi m a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn’t think his Ford Pinto would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that Chevy 4 wheel drive.” The boss said, “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?” The kid said “No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, ‘Dude, your weekend’s shot, you should go fishing.’ ”
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Where do Kings learn to кill dragons?
At knight school!
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Forty years after graduating, four friends from business school decide to have a reunion.
The first three arrive at the same time. As they wait for their fourth friend, they start talking, catching up on the years they missed. All of them have had careers, married, and had children who are themselves having careers.
"My son has been such a successful real estate businessman that he gave his girlfriend a mansion by the sea for her birthday," boasts the first man.
"Ah, but my son", says the second man, "has been so successful in aeronautical industry, that he gave his girlfriend a helicopter for her her birthday."
"That's cute," says the third man, "but my son has been so successful in the world of finance that for her birthday, he gave his girlfriend a pack of very good shares in 20 different companies. She's literally a millionaire, and all thanks to my son."
At that moment, the fourth man finally arrives. No sooner have they greeted him that they ask him :
"What does your son do."
"My son?" replies the fourth man. "He's an еsсоrт boy."
A long, awkward silence ensues.
"I'm... sorry," says one man. "That must be disappointing."
"Disappointing ? Not at all ! You see, it was his birthday last month, and three of his favorite customers gave him a mansion by the sea, a helicopter and a pack of shares that literally made him a millionaire
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- What position did Bruce Wayne play on the school baseball team? Bat-boy.
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What did George W Bush say after hearing Barack Obama admitted to using сосаinе in high school?
"High school? I can't believe he waited that long."
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