Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Воnк (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as "Bonkistry". He has been around forever, so I wouldn't put it past him to come up with something like this.
Anyway, one year there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the mid-terms and labs, etc., such that going into the final they had a solid A. These friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday), they decided to go up to U Virginia and party with some friends up there.
They did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found Professor Воnк after the final and explained to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to UVA for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back to campus.
Bonk thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated, relieved and very proud of their story. So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time Воnк had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about molarity and solutions and was worth 5 points. "Cool," they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page...
WHICH TIRE? (95 points)
The way this game works is every time the word f**k is used (in any form, ex.
f**king, f**ker, etc.), or the word dude (in any form, ex. "his dudeliness, the dudester, etc.) is used, you take a drink. If you've seen the movie, you'll know that after five minutes of playing, you should be dialing 9-1-1. The main character's name is "Dude" and swearing, especially with the f-word, is quite excessive. Because both dude and f**k are used so much during the movie that we altered the rules to include that you can choose to only drink when one or the other word is said.
I can promise you this: Playing this game makes the movie make a lot more sense.
On Monday morning, the teacher walked to the blackboard and noticed someone had written the word "реnis" in tiny letters. She turned around, but couldn't find the guilty face. She quickly erased it and began her class.
Tuesday, she was again greeted with "реnis" on the blackboard, written in larger letters. She looked around in vain for the culprit, and then proceeded with the day's lesson.
Every morning for the rest of the week, "реnis" was written on the board in larger and larger letters, and each time, the teacher furiously erased it. By Friday, she'd had enough.
"That's enough," she sputtered. "I - I can't believe this! Monday morning, I expect an explanation for this behavior!"
On Monday morning, the teacher confidently entered the classroom and found on the board: "Don't you know - the more you rub it, the вiggеr it gets?"
A guy sees his new neighbor out in his backyard, so he decides to get acquainted. After introductions, he asks the new neighbor what he does for a living. The new neighbor says, "I'm a professor."
The first neighbor then asks, "Oh yeah, what do you teach?"
"Logic," the professor responds.
"What is that?" the neighbor inquires. "Well, let me see if I can give you an example...you have a dog, right?"
"Yeah, that's right," neighbor #1 responds."And you have children too, right?" says the professor."Wow, right again!" exclaims the neighbor."So, then you must be married and that would make you a heterosexual, right?'' proclaims the professor."Unbelievable, you're absolutely correct. How do you know all this about me?"
"Well," the professor says, "I observed there was a dog house in your backyard, so you must have a dog. I also saw bicycles next to your garage, so you must have children. And if you have children, you are probably married and if your married, you are most likely heterosexual... it was all logical!"
The next afternoon, the neighbor runs into his old friend. His friend asks if he has met the new neighbor. The man says that he met him yesterday."What's he like?"
"Well," the man says, "he's nice and he is a professor of logic."
"Oh," says the friend, "what's logic?"
"Maybe I can give you an example. Do you have a dog house?"
"Why, no, I do not," responds the friend."
Well, then," proclaims the man, "you must be gаy!"