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Вицове за блондинки English Blondinenwitze Chistes de rubias Анекдоты про блондинок Blagues de blondes Barzellette sulle bionde Αστεία για ξανθιές Вицеви за русокоси Sarışın fıkraları Анекдоти про блондинок Piadas de loiras Dowcipy o blondynkach Blondinskämt Blondjes moppen Blondine vittigheder Blondinevitser Blondin vitsit Szőke nős viccek Bancuri cu blonde Vtipy o blondýnkách Anekdotai apie blondines Joki par blondīnēm Vicevi o plavušama
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Blonde Jokes

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When you think that you are looking at Chuck Norris' picture, think again... he's looking at you.
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Chuck Norris is under contract with Zales and DeBeer not to eat coal.
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The elderly nurse approached her co-workers in the break room:
“I am mortified, disgusted and insulted. Someone else is going to have to give the patient in bed 429 his bath.”
“What is the problem, Nurse Jackson?” asked another nurse.
“Well, if you must know, he has a…a tattoo on his … his реnis!”
(Gasps are heard throughout the nurse’s break room.)
“Yes, the tattoo ‘JSWAN’ is plainly visible … it is disgusting!”
“I will bathe him, Nurse Jackson,” said the youngest nurse, a 24-year-old blonde. “You can give a bath to my female patient in room 422.”
Hours later, the nurses are having their lunch in the break room, and Sheryl, the young nurse, smiles and says, “Nurse Jackson was wrong about the tattoo. It doesn’t say ‘JSWAN’, it says ‘JOE’S BAR AND GRILLE SASKATCHEWAN!’ “
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The Blonde and the Blinker Δυο ξανθιές στο αμάξι Скъпа Какво отговоря блондинка като я попиташ дали мигачът мига? Две блондинки се возят в кола. Един борец казал на друг: Што одговара плавуша кога ја прашуваат дали работи жмигавецот на колата: Zwei Österreicher überprüfen ihr Auto: A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. - Vet du vad norrmännen säger om blinkersen i bilen? - Fungerer C'est deux belges qui sont dans une voiture et le préparent pour partir en vacances. Le conducteur dis au passager - Va voir si le clignotant marche bien s'il te plaît. - Ouais Carabinieri in auto: "Appuntato guarda se la freccia funziona". "Ora si' Det var en norrman A man got in a taxi cab to be driven to work. They were about to turn a corner A husband is driving with her blonde wife Kevin Un tipo le dice a la mujer rubia: - Andrea What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Det var en Svensk turist som var ute och åkte bil i Norge. Han svängde in på en verkstad för att kolla så att alla lampor på bilen fungerade. - Kan jag få hjälp med en sak? Frågade svensken. -... Det var två norr män som skulle åka bil. Då sa den som skulle köra till den andra: - Kan du gå ur och kolla så blinkersen funkar? - Okej P: O que uma loira te responde quando você pergunta se o pisca-pisca está funcionando? — Está; não está; Está. Não está... Ein Mann bittet eine Blondine sich hinter sein Auto zu stellen A guy asked a blonde if his blinkers were working and she replied On Two blondes are driving down the road A guy driving his car asks his blonde girlfriend to stick her head out of the window and check to see if the blinkers are working This guy picked up a dumb hitchhiker Quando uma pessoa pergunta para uma loira se o pisca-pisca do carro está funcionado o que ela diz? R.. tá
Two girls speed down the highway at 90 mph."Hey," asks the brunette at the wheel. "Do you see any cops following us?"
The blonde turns around. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"Dамn!" says the brunette. "Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turns around again. "Yup. Nope. Yup. Nope. Yup."
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A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment. They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket."What is that?" she asks.
He replies, "Those are my golf ваlls."
She says, "Is that like tennis elbow?"
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Паметна плавуша Smart Blonde Eine intelligente Blondine Как се нарича умната блондинка? Hvad kalder du en intelligent blondine? – En Golden Retriever. Hva kalles en smart blondine? Svar: Golden Retriver. Miksi kutsutaan viisasta blondia? - Kultaiseksi noutajaksi Het is blond en slim? Een golden retreiver - Vad kallar man en smart blondin? - Golden retriever. Vad kallar man en smart blondin? Golden retriever En indikation på att man är alldeles för full Falsk
What do you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever.
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What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
An Air Bag.
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Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A1. "What's a light bulb?"
A2. One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3. Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
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There are three blondes who are on a road trip. As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down. They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. They each decide to take one thing to make the journey better. The first blonde takes the radio and says,
"If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music." The second blonde decides to take a wheel, "In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled." The third blonde takes the car door, "In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!"
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A traffic cop out on patrol for the first time stops a speeding sports car. Inside is an attractive young blonde woman. The cop asks for identification and the girl says she has no identification on her at all. Unsure of what to do the cop radios for advice. "Just stick your соск through the window." he is told. "Are you sure?" he ask. "Yes, just stick your соск through the window." So the cop goes back to the car and sticks his соск through the window. "Oh no!" says the blonde. "Not another breathalzser test!"
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A blonde is on a plane sleeping when the guy next to her says,
"Let's play a game." She looks at him and tells him the she doesn't want to and she just wants to sleep, but he keeps bugging her until she agrees. He tells her that he will ask her a question and if she can't answer, she owes him $5.00, then she asks him a question and if he can't answer, he owes her $50.00. So he asks, "Who was the last person to sign the Declaration of Independence?" She quietly hands over a $5 bill. She asks, "What goes up a hill with 4 legs and down with 5? He has no idea so he gives up and gives her $50. The blonde turns back around and goes back to sleep. Not 2 seconds later, he wakes her back up and asks, "What was the answer?" Quietly, she reaches into her purse and gives the guy a $5.00 bill.
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How come blondes don't wear tampons?
So their сrавs don't go bungie jumping.
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How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
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Q. Did you hear about the funny blonde who tried to вlоw up her husband's car?
A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, who were all stranded on an island.
One day they found a genie and he said he would grant them three wishes.
All three of them agreed that each of them would get one wish each.
The brunette said,
"I wish I was home in my bed and that this never happened."
And рооf, her wish was granted.
The redhead said,
"I wish that I was at home in my bed and this never happened."
And рооf, her wish was granted.
Then the blond said,
"I wish my friends were here with me."
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Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A. Because at 69 they вlоw a rod...
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How does a blonde commit suicide?
She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
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Most men regard blondes as a golden opportunity.
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