While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. “What’s that?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with lusт. “Tennis ball,” came the breathless reply. “Oh,” said the blonde sympathetically, “that must be painful…. I had tennis elbow once.”
Gracie was driving down the road in her pickup truck when she spotted a blonde sitting in a canoe in the middle a corn field. She slammed on her brakes and swerved into the corn field.
Pulling up beside the blonde, she rolled down her window and shouted, "Hey! What do you think you're doing?!?"
The blonde in the canoe looked at her, confused and said,
"Well, I'm just out enjoying the sun in my canoe."
Gracie was fuming. She yelled back, "Why are you out in the middle of the cornfield!?!"
"Well, it seemed like a great day to be in the wide open," the blonde replied.
"You know," Gracie said,
"It's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your вuтт!"
An blond went into a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any parrots.
The owner replied, “Sorry, I don’t have any at the moment.”
“Dамn and blast!” said the blonde, “I have been invited to a fancy dress party for the first time in my life and I want to go as a Pirate, and I have been told to be as authentic as possible, hence the need for the parrot explained the Blond.
“Well” said the owner, “if you come back here next week, specifically on Thursday, I am expecting a shipment from South America and I’ll be able to supply you with a parrot, guaranteed,”
“Dамn and blast!” said the blonde, “I can’t come on that day or for some time after.”
“Why not?” Asked the owner.
“Because that is the day I’m having my leg amputated!