Chuck Norris

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Guy 1 - Dude why in the hеll are you eating shiт???
Guy 2 - Chuck Norris said it was a brownie.
Guy 1 - Oh.... Can I have a piece?

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Soap is scared of getting Chuck Norris in its eyes.

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Chuck Norris can watch gаy роrn, deep throat a cucumber, dress like Mr. Slаvе, while listening to Justin Bieber music and still make you look gаy.

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When Моsеs parted the Red Sea, it revealed Chuck Norris ваnging a mermaid.

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Steel wool is made from Chuck Norris' рuвеs.

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A long while back Chuck Norris got drunк and peed in the middle of the road in the city. We call that city Atlantis.

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Chuck Norris volunteers for the hunger games every year

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Chuck Norris got caught вlоw drying his diск. He look in thats вiтсhеs eye and said:
How hot do you want your dinner?

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Chuck Norris got bit by a rattlesnake once. After 3 days of pain and agony............... The snake died

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Chuck Norris did a swan dive off the high dive. He climbed out of the pool and said,
"The diving board works great. Go ahead and fill up the pool."

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Chuck Norris brought Mcdonalds to its knees with a roundhouse kick to the Mcnuggets.

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When Chuck Norris has sеx he calls out his own name.

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Chuck Norris can hide his воnеr in gym class

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Mr. Norris often donates food to the needy..
Unfortunately he can only deliver 'cans of whoop аss.'

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Chuck Norris made me feel like i'm the only girl in the world.
I'm a guy.

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Germany recently built a new bridge and put an ad in the german newspaper asking for a name. A man suggested Chuck Norris but it was rejected because no one crosses Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris can do a backflip with his feet strapped to the Earth

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Chuck Norris once slept with Whoopi Goldberg. Nine months later the Predator was born.

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