Chuck Norris

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All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.

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Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.

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A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back. Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.

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James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.

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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Ваng!"

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Chuck Norris can split the atom.
With his bare hands.

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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.

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When you die on Earth you go to hеll.
When you die in hеll you go to Chuck Norris' house.

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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.

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Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.

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When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.

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When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.

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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.

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Chuck Norris drew the line and made Johnny Cash walk it.

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Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

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Chuck Norris once won a three-legged race... By himself.

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They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!

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