Chuck Norris

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Chuck gives the sun the chills.

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Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once.
The Wild lost.

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Note to self:
Don’t be the cashier to tell Chuck Norris his coupons have expired.

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Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.

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Once, Chuck Norris told Nike to "just do it..." and it did.

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Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.

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Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.

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Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.

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Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.

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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't кill you in your sleep.

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Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.

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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.

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In "ring around the rosie", Chuck Norris does not fall down.

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When Chuck Norris has a воnе to pick, it's always the jawbone.

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Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.

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CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.

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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.

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