Chuck Norris

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When Chuck Norris got his first sling-shot, he created what we now know today as the "Moon", "Mars", "Jupitar", "Saturn" and "Pluto"

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Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.

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Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.

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When Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".

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Trains stop at Chuck Norris crossings.

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Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.

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Chuck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.

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Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.

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When the fire department catches fire, they call Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.

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Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets.
He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.

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You know the movie, Alien VS Predator?
Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.

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NASA is negotiating with Chuck Norris about using his roundhouse kick as a propulsion to get to Mars.

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Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his tv for all he needs to do is just stare until it turns on.

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The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.

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Chuck Norris can power solar panels.
At Night.

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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.

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