Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.

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The pouch respects Chuck Norris.

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How did Stella get her groove back?
Permission from Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.

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The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.

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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

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Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

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Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected.
He knows the unexpected.

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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.

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Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.

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Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.

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For some, the left теsтiсlе is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each теsтiсlе is larger than the other one

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Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.

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Chuck Norris once won a Poker tournament using only Pokemon cards.

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Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank.
The iceberg was just a cover-up.

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He opens the door then turns the handle.

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Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone.
This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

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The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

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