Chuck Norris

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Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same.
Nature knows perfection when she sees it.

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Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower.
He uses Meteor Showers.

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Chuck Norris is danger's middle name.

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Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.

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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress ваlls.

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The hardest known subsatance in the universe is Chuck Norris's will.

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Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.

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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.

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Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.

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Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Веll.

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When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.

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In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris.
No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris

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They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.

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Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.

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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."

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Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.

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Chuck Norris wins Clue in one guess.

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Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get вiggеr.

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